|Reviews for The Illusionists|
| Tawny Owl chapter 1 . 3/22/2008
I like the idea of the illusionists. They could be really creepy. I think you’re right in that it does seem a bit rushed, although in a way that is good because it does get things happening quickly. I also like the writing style, it’s engaging and it made me laugh.
| Mindshadow Productions chapter 1 . 5/1/2007
Spotted you on the Pay it Forward C2.
"He was pacing through one of the many the bright white, astoundingly clean hallways of the ship."
Should be "He was pacing through one of the many bright white, astoundingly clean hallways of the ship." (I think; the extra "the" read a little awkward to me).
"...sapient life..." Shouldn't that be "sentient" life?
"...one transaction in..." I'm thinking you mean "transgression".
Minutia aside, a very cleanly written and descriptive story. I like you set up the mystery/suspense very carefully. Other than being "the only friend", the reader has no idea of Shanna's intentions until the very last scene, yet the buildup was well executed. I hope you continue this story.
| Dani P chapter 1 . 4/12/2007
interesting so far. I like your attention to details. keep it up.
| MaDMaS22 chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
Ha! A rebel Nerd.
Im intrigued by this introduction not really a whole lot I can say right now but i am interested. Keep writing and edit even chapters that you have posted. So sorry for the short review im terribly sleepy. Promise to be more thorough next time.
If you would, have a look at Where Angles Fear to Tread.
| The Mumbling Sage chapter 1 . 1/15/2007
First off- how is 'Qa' pronounced? I'm thinking Qwah, but that might be wrong.
The intro was pretty good- it certianly made me want to see what Cory was going to get himself into. There's a bit of telling instead of showing, but that's okay if this was supposed to be a short story.
When Cory says 'Sounds cool,' you say he said it enthusiastically, but it doesn't exaclty sound enthusiastic. Maybe just 'Cool!' would work, or maybe I'm just being nitpicky. 'SOUNDS cool' suggests that it only sounds that way, and quite possibly is horrifically boring.
And this last part is...very rushed. I couldn't quite get the emotion, although I assume it was like 'Holy crap people think we're aliens- but wait not my son with with someone who isn't supposed to be on this ship- holy crap!' But it sounded a bit dull.
'My guess is...' kind of suggests that Liza doesn't consider this a priority, just a sort of chore. Gee, I'd better warn the passengers. Maybe if I can fit it in before lunch.
Still, I really liked the plot of this story and would like to see where it's going. I see there's a lot more planned out ahead and will be happy to see it.
| Noihseret chapter 1 . 11/5/2006
this is going to be good. I can tell...
| Julian Henleth chapter 1 . 11/1/2006
Good story, I'm interested to see what happens next. You do have some minor problems, but I think if you proofread it, you should see them quite readily. There are some spelling errors (it's sentient, not sapient) but overall, good. Keep it up.