Reviews for Deathlift
Yoi chapter 1 . 1/14/2007
hey, love your descriptions ) keep it up!
Noihseret chapter 4 . 1/13/2007
'Darkness forever. It sounds like an emo band name'

lol aww... thanks for the dedication!

I love those creatures! sure, they be evil monsters bent on killing and destroying houses but still...

Joan seems pretty smart. I like her. and way to leave a cliffhanger! I wonder what's up with Zach and his transformation...

looking forward to more!

SN
Noihseret chapter 3 . 1/12/2007
you write such great fight scenes! I'm so jelous... (pouts in corner) I like Joan. Zach too! Laurel is cool also. I JUST LIKE EVERYBODY! and I can't wait for more
Noihseret chapter 2 . 1/12/2007
this is going to be one amazing story, I can already tell
felicia13 chapter 2 . 12/10/2006
Hm. Well, it certainly appears as though you have a rather interesting story to tell, here. I'll be wanting to know the rest of it. I'm hooked, congrats.

Laurel is pretty fun. She's a bit spastic sometimes, isn't she? Zach is pretty experimental. Who's the lab coat? Must be important, if he can't remember. Mind visions are fun. Whole stories can be made that way. Trust me on this. It's fun. Try it sometime.

Write on, my charming author! Write, and I will read.

Felicia.
Durandel chapter 2 . 12/5/2006
Good Job! This was really good, I see you took some of my advice, thats really cool. I like Zach the best so far, he seems like an interesting character. Update soon, I can't wait for the next update!
felicia13 chapter 1 . 11/6/2006
The summary sounded like tons of fun (slash AND femmeslash!), so this is what I'm reading of yours. Huzzah.

Whoa! Totally awesome bird-kid! He rocks. No lie.

Ok, this was a rocking awesome first chapter, and now I am going to follow this story! So when you update it (hopefully soon), I will be there, ready to read! Unless it's in November, in which case, it might be a while until I respond. I'm doing the NaNoWriMo this year.

Ok. Wonderful. Good action. Believable characters. Huzzah!

Felicia.
Noihseret chapter 1 . 11/5/2006
great start! this story seems promising. I wonder what's up with Zach and his 'transformation' (haha... it's so cool!). I like the characters you've created here. you portray them very well in your writing too.

-looking forward to more!
Durandel chapter 1 . 11/4/2006
Hm... You're fight scenes could use some work, but other than that it was great. The trio of Zach, Laurel and Joan seems pretty good, and I'm intrested to see some further detail in Zach's transformation. Now for your fight scenes, add a bit more detail, like how Zach's claws tore through a wall, make use of the surroundings of you enviroment, like if there's rock, have somebody throw it, wow, that sounded so much lke a video game just now. Your fighting theme is a bit different than mine, yours is "Strong guy vs. A bunch of weak people that match him in power when working together" which is not a bad thing, in fact it could be one of the strong points of your story, you need to add a bit more detail, but put a bit of "Strong vs. Strong" in a gravity defying battle, that's basically what I do, but you seem superior in multi persons fighting one strong one, I tried that in Notcturne Blade and boy was it bad. That's basically all you need to do. Thanks for the reviews, but there is something about WtPH and EW you need to know, they're being dicontinued, but they wont be gone forever, they're gonna be my newest story, both put into one, remixed, I'll send you the info via e-mail. Good Luck and Keep on Writing!
Ibex chapter 1 . 11/4/2006
Alright, everything in this chapter was pretty good. Just one thing:

"Grayish slush splashed in through the holes in his shoes each time they hit the pavement, sending a simultaneously jarring and sloshing sensation through him with each step" um sloshing sensation through him? I understand the jarring but sloshing? Please explain if I'm a little thick-headed.

Other than that, not bad.

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