Almost everything about your writing is quiet good! But it pains me to tell you that your main charecter is a bit of a Mary Sue. Hopfuly you will learn t fix this. But other than this your writing flows very well and works together perfectly! Though I would like to sugjest you use a bit more volabulary while writing. I also fail to see a plot formimng so far (by chapter 7) and without a plot it is difficult for people to realy get involved with the story and want to read more to see what happens next.

Hope I have not been too hard on you and good luck!

- Just Here to Read

Please do! Please keep going with this story! I've wanted to see how it goes since I added it!

Omigosh you HAVE to keep going!your story is the one I look forward to reading the most!please don't stop or it would just end on what ifs and cliffhangers!

Personally, I think you should finish it. Not just because of the people that had read this to this point, but also so that you can look at it and be reminded that you have come a long way and you know that you can do better. Practice makes perfect right? Well show everyone that's true. And besides, wouldn't you like to say you finished something from beginning to end? I know I would, but we're all different in our own ways. Who cares if it took you 10 years to finish it? Or 30? That should be your motivation in finishing this story lol. I hope you reconsider this and finish this story because I would like to see what happens. Yes, I can say Alex and Christian fell in love and have fat, healthy babies, but I'm not either one of them and would like to see what they have done. Your their voice, tell it the way you or the way they want to tell it. Otherwise what's the point in writing if your character(s) can't tell you how they feel or anything else.

By the way, I hope that Jordyn and Christian beat the crap out of Jerrod for doing that to Alex's visor lol, just hope that Brianna doesn't get to pissed by their actions. Like I said, I have faith in this story and would like to read it as soon as you can write it.

Later :-)

"Defeated, Nick snarled and thrust Brianna forward, causing her to stumble over her high heels." In the last chapter you just said she was wearing flip flops. "Brianna wore nice-looking white flip-flops instead of high heels, because Alex had told her of Kori's average height and wanted to make sure that she wasn't taller than her date."

I'm not saying this because I don't like your work though, it's just that I noticed it :) I LOVE your work as a matter of fact ;D

I love this story! I think you should finish the whole story, then edit and deepen the characters and stuff. Your plot is really great though! I love the idea of this virtual realistic video game thing!

Keep it going!

dont stop please update please please

Love the story! And I think you should finish it and then start rewriting it. That way if life becomes hectic again you'd have finished the story instead leaving it half way complete.

Please update soon!

please please please please keep it going! i would LOVE to see what happens next! i've been hanging for the next chapter for so long! i love it! the way you've set it out; i like it alot! please finish it! :D thank you!

Its your dont keep going i will cry... hystericly and for several days

Could you finish this version of it then start over to make it better? I want to know what happens

This is one of the only stories I read nowadays. I'm hoping that you'll continue it to the best of your ability, and maybe rewrite/start something new when it's done?

I really want to know what happens next, so I go for you re-writing it :)

So, I love the concept of this story and I agree that a rewrite would be nicee, but could you please finish this story first? I really want to know what happens. I remember that whats-his-face messed with her visor and that she's not supposed to be in the game without someone supervising her...so I really want to know what goes wrong. update soon! please and thank you!

Your story is not bad,it's actually great even with lack of depth, but if you want to rewrite it; could you please finish the story first so I don't go crazy waiting for the ending.

I defintely want to read the rewritten one too :D