riveting ) The scenes you establish are specially vivid. We practically live and breathe with the character. Narrative is not choppy; you can clearly see the flowing line of thought run through the paragraphs. Most expositions and introductions of characters' pasts are quick to bore, but yours somehow isn't. And you alternate effortlessly between letting the readers hear the character's thoughts thoughts and introspections, and bringing them back to reality, to the present danger they are running from. (in my opinion, that's your greatest strength ) how you slide so smoothly from one to another. The shift is barely perceptible. But that's just my opinion.) The secrets are revealed slowly, piece by piece, and it does a lot to help the suspense. And the last sentence: "He was dead." Bang! ) A wonderful ending to a wonderful first chapter.

I've honestly got nothing constructive to say except please, please update soon? :D

oh wow this sounds quite interesting.. its already caught my interest very well.. hope more comes soon

Ooh, yay, another book-equivalent on fictionpress! I get so happy when I start reading stories like these - they're like reading an actual novel...

Anyways, awesome start. I get so jealous when I read works like this (and by JC Jaquez, and Myrika) because you're so talented! But, if we didn't have you all, what would we read?

I must admit, I like Nick an awful lot. (I wanted to say Kolya, but that would just be weird even though it's an awesome name.) He's an interesting character. Very enigmatic.

I look forward to reading more of this! Oh, and thanks for putting the glossary at the bottom. It's helpful, knowing what they're saying. (I'm sorry this wasn't the best review ever. I find I'm better at reviewing poetry.)

Much love...TinuvielDork

Interesting chapter. I guess my only problem about this chapter is that Cori didn't seem too fazed about the fact that someone tried to kill Ncholas. It's like, Oh? Someone tried to kill my partner for the project? No big deal, it happens every day.

That part seemed a bit unbelievable. But other than that, pretty good. I can't wait to get into the real action.

~TirzahRuth

Yay, I was pretty excited to see that you had another chapter up already today!

I'd probably try and leave you a decent review, but I have to head off to class in a few minutes. Eventually I'll leave something good. ]

-FrenzyFan78

Monica was right. This is very good! There really isn't much to say. The writing's fantastic. How do you know so much Russian?

Wow. What a great start. I really liked the first chapter. Howver, I felt as if the second chapter was a slight let down. It seemed to move just a tad bit to fast, and the whole not being able to read thing was a major shock because there were no little hints. What I would do is save the not being able to read bombshell for a later chapter, the next one at the earliest, and maybe give us a few more subtle hints, so the reader doesn't feel bombarded.

Other than that, I think this is excellent, and I hope to see more chapters soon!

~TirzahRuth

hm this story doesnt sound bad. i read JC's advertisement in her story so i thought i should check it out. hope u update soon so i can c wr u r heading w/ this story of urs. ciao

Thanks to the recommendation of the lovely JC Jaquez, I decided to read your story.

Anyway, not much to comment on yet, but I'm intrigued and hope you post more chapters soon. ]

-FrenzyFan78

Hi there! bwahaha! I have read it like Callie and Kwi on the groups :D

*twirls with joy

The world shall now experience Russians to the fullest with your reseraching skills :D Update very very soon!

you've posted it! Your work is, as always, really intricate and developed, well at least for me, even after the second time of reading it. Go Janna! post more soon and rock the FP universe haha D

kwi(rmwm)

Like it so far, hope to get a look at those other nine chapters!

I like reviewing...but unfortunately I'm crunched and can't leave you the lengthy review that I should. hehe.

Well you already know that I love Cori and Nick. And sometimes I think Nick is a jerk. But that's just Nick. It's who he is.

Love

Callie

Uh-oh...too bad I know what happens next. it really pays too be in that group. lol.

LOOK I'm reviewing!

lol.

Um as you know I really like this lol. Poor Max though it makes me a little sad. okay I really don't have much to say. I've probably already said it. hee hee