All right, chapter 1 review:

I read this as well as the chapter you've got on Wordpress, and I like a lot of the changes you made. Reffering to Grigory Rezanov by his first name rather than his last really helps humanize him more and gets more sympathy straight off the bat.

Something small that bothered me in both versions was the fact that Max seemed to be a bit battered. Does getting whumped over the head and tackled on a busy street really do that big of a number on you?

One other nit-picky thing I caught in the revised version-at one point, tears flow down Max's face. But he's wearing a blindfold. I'd think that if a blindfold is tight enough that it completely blocks vision, it would also soak up the tears, not let them flow down the face.

I've heard you say that you've done a lot of revisions of this chapter. I know you want to make a good impression and everything, but it's a really good start. Draws you in, asks more than it answers, and is well written. Don't stress too much over this first chapter-it's a good one.

Always loved this story. I've told you before, but I read this right before working on QWERTY, and it really shows. You inspired me stylistically, from the "realistic except for the bit of sci-fi/fantasy blend" part to the emphasis on characters. I'll be providing individual reviews for individual chapters once I reread them all, but for now I'll just say that this is an amazing story, and (even though it's not published, or even completed), one of my favorite pieces of literature of all-time.

Wow. I found this through EmpressFunk on deviantART and I'm so glad I did! Saving Nicholas is amazing!

PLEASE update. That is one really good story you have there.

you probably already noticed this yourself, but there is a slight inconsistency in the text with what Max is tied to the chair with: first it's shackles, then rope, then handcuffs...

I know what it is! It's the Helsinki Cathedral, but it used to be called St Nicholas' Church! I went there about 2 years ago, so I get really excited when someone writes about a place I can relate to! Great work, I'm loving the story!

It totally made my day, seeing that you had updated.

Wish you luck in working on Writer's Circle!:)

~Parilis

(God chapter)

So I was definitely super excited to see an update from you, since there haven't been any in a while. In fact, I put off finishing typing an essay that I need to complete in the next half a hour to read this. Ek. So I know this is a crappy review, but... oh well. I still love your story! D

-FrenzyFan78

I like the flow of the narrative, you manage to balance out the actions whilst filling us with the information for we need for the moment,(huzzah for no info-dumping,)it reminds of Rowling, cause you get the feeling that if the world you're uncovering wasn't so interesting, you may be bored.

I like your language too, it's full-throttle with the senses, you know you've used the kind of words that stick in your mind. Very professional and mature.

'“G-Grisha?” he stammered,' We know by the hesitation that he's stammering, although I suppose you need a tagline is necessary to show who's speaking. Yeah leave that.

'A cruel laugh made every hair on Max’s neck stand on end.' Hmm. How can a laugh be cruel, I think showing Max's reaction alone will make his laugh seem more cruel. Don't tell us it's cruel.

I can tell you've edited sparsely. All of the adverbs and tag-lines justify their right to be there.

In addition I like your use of body-language.

'Grigory Iakovich Rezanov resembled a starved mosquito at his best moments' that line kicks ass! :D

Great story, keep writing my friend.

BTW: It's Ethereal from SE.

Ah, I btw left a review for chapter 12, but... uh well, hope this one will make it:)

I have to say that they're plan was a way too rough. They would have succeeded if they only had thought everything through.

My heart was pounding while I read this. While reading this I didn't hear or think of anything else than reading this story.

cahpter14...chapter14...

Fantastic story! You are very talented at weaving suspense and creating interesting characters. I can't wait to read more. :)

omg, what a twist, cori is being used as blackmail to make nick do what rezanov wants...its so exciting! i cant wait to read more!

-Michelle

I absolutely loved it. You have to keep posting. *Bites nails* Pretty please?

Wow, this chapter had me wide awake the whole time! (Which is saying something, since it's 1:30 am and I'm still recovering from jet lag.) In other words, an incredible chapter. You'll definitely have to let me know when you move to the other website, cause I'll have to keep up with this story there; you have me hooked. Eesh, please post another chapter soon, because I would love to know what happens!

-FrenzyFan78

I have to admit, I about had a heart attack when I read you were pulling the story. Then I almost had another heart attack when I read about the site (but this was a good thing. That I was surprised, I mean). I was going batty trying to figure out where Monica had gone, because it seemed so random. I almost started bawling when the stories got pulled. Anywho...I can hardly wait until the site goes up. Teeheehee. Now. I should probably actually READ the chapter...hehe.