|Reviews for Hellbound|
| Undead Serenade chapter 2 . 11/26/2006
“So, you are awake again”
Okay, question or statement? It’s a feature to not confuse readers, which is why we use punctuation.
You’re probably figuring me out as a psycho crazy woman. Er. Sorry. I’m picky, but it does improve your writing.
“What do you want?”
Well, you normally don’t want to do multiple ?s or !s.
.-.; I’ll stop.
“Please ignore the brat here, he is my little brother”, I apologize quickly with a dismissive move of my hand.
Commas go inside quotation marks.
Okay. You have some grammatical issues, but I mean, that's easier to fix than abominable spelling and complete boring deadline story.
Again, it's an easy read and yeah.
| Undead Serenade chapter 1 . 11/26/2006
Candles is something I have loads of, in all colours.
“You're not like any of the other spirits I saw”
“You are very much mistaken, human. I am no mere spirit”
You forgot to add periods to the ends of the speech.
“Lovely. Spirit of the night it is”
He knew the meaning of my name just by hearing it?
He takes a step forward and bow at me.
“My name is Asmodeus Aurelius Partus Proterius”
In fact, you mess up a lot. PERIODS. O: Or commas if the sentence isn’t closed.
“I live in Hell, yes”
Besides that, um. It's an interesting read so far.
| StarDust1880 chapter 2 . 11/26/2006
really god story. i like it a whole lot. asmodeus is so child-like its cute, but yeah its annoying.
| livelyforest chapter 1 . 11/25/2006
ello, i've just your summary and its wicked funny or like it has a fun edge to it so i hope its good
| aLoggedInReader chapter 2 . 11/25/2006
Wow! I love this story!
Where to begin? The idea behind it is really cool and I love your writing style!
Please continue soon!
| Celtsea chapter 2 . 11/25/2006
I like...and this story led to a REALLY interesting dream. Anyway, it just has that style factor that makes it so readable and fantastic. Update...and no I am NOT going to ask nicely.
Now that I think of it the dream could have been caused by all that strawberry ice cream...
| Torn and Tattered chapter 1 . 11/11/2006
OH! Nice, I loved it. Well worth the read! The end, I FAINT. it's like OH. haha, that's so amusing, sry, but it is. plz continue!
| Ravena Wolf chapter 1 . 11/6/2006
This is very interesting, a boy from hell.
Oh, I do hope you take in mind the law of three.
though of course if you're not wiccan it does not matter I suppose.
Is your spell real, because if it is, I wouldn't mind a copy. I sexy demon boy at my own expense. what is there not to love about that?
I really like your story. Please UPDATE soon!