Reviews for Demon Lover
eiyuang999 chapter 1 . 5/24/2010
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light.and.darkness.angel chapter 22 . 6/24/2009
it's good so far, update please
Layla the fiend chapter 21 . 3/29/2008
Ow, my brain...
Layla the fiend chapter 20 . 3/5/2008
Worst. Cliffhanger. Ever.

I'm dying for an update, I really am.
Vester chapter 1 . 8/14/2007
Umm... excellent wrtiting. Loved the voice. I'm confused about the randomness of her just being buried but I'm sure you'll explain it later. Great!
lifeisataletoldbyanidiot chapter 7 . 5/27/2007
I'm enjoying this, great story! I found the grave scene a tad confusing, but the language quality and plot still make this a great read!
AluminumMuse chapter 3 . 4/27/2007
Again, quite good, but sometimes the action is unclear.
AluminumMuse chapter 2 . 4/27/2007
Very strange, rather Steven King ish.
Mass Genocide chapter 15 . 4/4/2007
I really like this interlude as well. It really explains things better than if you didn't have them in. But I think that if her mother's dating doesn't have anything to do with the plot then you shouldn't add it in. However, I am a critic and this is what I do. For the most part this is a really good story though, keep it up!

Mass Genocide
Mass Genocide chapter 14 . 4/3/2007
O... More mystery... But I guess this is the end so see ya!
Mass Genocide chapter 13 . 4/3/2007
Well, I'm going to finish reading this just because it's reading material and I'm deprived, but I would seriously consider re-writing it... It's a good plot, but I think it would do better elongated...
Mass Genocide chapter 4 . 4/3/2007
Wow... I kinda imagined the guard being older... So I guess the artist and the guard and Elutha are the same age and there will be romantic tension... Huh... It's cliche, but I do it all of the time; it's a great story line...
Mass Genocide chapter 2 . 4/3/2007
2nd chapter doesn't make much sense concerning the grave part and I think you should stretch out the details a little, it's going kinda too fast... But it's a really good plotline so don't you give up!
Mass Genocide chapter 1 . 4/3/2007
A short chapter... So far it's good, but it went a little fast and the begining was kinda confusing, other than that, it's really good. Keep up the good work.
Laeden chapter 2 . 3/20/2007
I like the narrating voice in this story. Although I'd like to see more details about the surroundings, the smells, the sights, the textures, etc. Include the senses into your story and it will really help the reader get a better picture of the circumstances and the feelng.

Also, I noticed a few grammer mistakes. You have a hyphen where a dash should be. I'm sure you intended to do a dash instead of a hypthen, but just mabye it was a typo or you didn't know how to make a dash.

Preceding "no ceremony about it" you have a hyphen. "hole-no ceremony about it." Although it should be two hypthens. "hole-not ceremony about it." This may seem contemptuous, but it's important, because if your reader is someone who reads a lot, they'll be confused (I was at first) because a hypthen actually separates the same word, and a dash can separate two clauses in a sentence. So you just simply need to add another hypthen.

Overall it's a good casual narrative voice, and I think if you added some more detail you'd have a really killer piece on your hands.

Good job,

Laeden
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