|Reviews for Hatchling|
| Zeela Ravena chapter 4 . 2/19/2007
Your story was really amazing. One of its best aspects was it was so much like really life I know boys that act just like Lucas. I did wonder about the size of the egg, because all the beaches I have been to the rocks are very tiny. Besides that Great Job!
| this account is no longer on chapter 4 . 2/18/2007
I love the way that this is written. You give very clear descriptions on everything except the size of the egg. I wish that you had explained that in a little more detail. I certainly didn't think that it was a pheonix egg. But it makes perfect sense and is frankly, brilliant, apart from that. The ending was so sad and happy you know? The pheonix was finally set free, but it has to endure death over and over. That has to be a very sorrowful feeling, so I can see why it wouldn't want to stay. Great job!
I think that this is the longest review that I have ever written before. You can take that as a compliment.
| KT chapter 4 . 11/19/2006
Oh my God, this is gorgeous. I forgot just how much I love reading your work, and you've gotten even better in the interim. You captured very subtly the little details of the beach (and the rock collecting! Is that from me?) and of being six, or thirteen, or a dad. And the last line...
:And it couldn’t stand to be around the people who clung to old things:
That made me so sad. Because we just can't help it, can we? And it felt like you were saying that is what separates us from the magic. That grief, among other things.
:HUG!: This made me very happy!
| cosaco chapter 2 . 11/13/2006
i didn't realize it was an egg 'til later on (ch. 3 or so) because, main issue: you did not give me a *size* for the egg. i always thought, ya know, tiny, small beach pebble. never *egg*. much less phoenix egg.
so i, um, think it would help to have a size reference.
unless you do have one that i've just missed. i'm not very good at picking up on things
| TheHangerOfAbhorrantDislike chapter 4 . 11/12/2006
Cool. I kinda wondered what would hatch out of it. I really like how you begin (and now end) each chapter, from what we now know as a phoenix's point of view. Adds a touch of something different. And I like how you added Lucas in there because it's very common for people to turn to the one's that hurt them most for everything, I'm not even kidding. Such as when you get mad at a person the first thing you want to do is have them tell you everything's gonna be alright because you don't want to be mad at them and vice versa. And I really like how David wants to believe in magic, but he needs to see it to believe it. Well, update soon! -TheHangerOfAbhorrantDislike-
And yes, one of my favorite writers happens to be Tamora Pierce. ;)
| Noelle chapter 4 . 11/12/2006
wow.. i really liked that. it was kinda surprising at the end, like you wouldnt have thought of that.
i didnt really like lucas too much...he was mean. but i understand why you put that in there.
| Locus chapter 1 . 11/12/2006
A lot established, but not a lot revealed. The way every story should start, at least in my opinion. I'm sure I'll have more to say as the story progresses, but so far so good.
| Jazmin3 Firewing chapter 4 . 11/12/2006
YES! *waves hands in air* Go, little phoenix-bird! Fly! Fly! YEAH! *cackles like a maniac* Lovin' this *so* much, yo! Please tell me this isn't the end!
| Wherrtle Smyth chapter 4 . 11/12/2006
Cool ending. I can't say that was expected. I liked how you did the scene with the phoenix, how you mentioned the characters in the opposite order they saw the bird. Great story!
| Gathering Crows chapter 4 . 11/12/2006
Nice. It very much broke the traditional chain of child finds magic rock, child does things with magic rock, child goes on adventures and comes back completely unchanged...with magic rock. I liked how the phoenix left at the end, instead of staying and being some long awaited fix to all of their little problems.
| Wherrtle Smyth chapter 3 . 11/11/2006
Fast update... well, the action begins... it's kind of riding on that whole overused "jaded parent doesn' believe kid when he or she says something paranormal happened" kind of thing. Besides that, though, it's pretty much perfect, as far as I can tell.
| Jazmin3 Firewing chapter 3 . 11/11/2006
Gasp! Shock! Horror! It's *hatching*!
... Sorry 'bout the sarcasm. I really dislike Lucas. He gets on my nerves. However, he doesn't take away from the story too too much, so I still like the big picture. Please update again soon!
| TheHangerOfAbhorrantDislike chapter 3 . 11/11/2006
Better and better. Memories make everything the better if you ask me. I like how Lucas is just like his father and Maggie reminds him of her mother. Ya gotta wonder what happened...cheers to cliffies! -TheHangerOfAnhorrantDislike-
| TheHangerOfAbhorrantDislike chapter 2 . 11/11/2006
I have a brother that would do something like that, too. I completely understand. Yet, the funny part is, my brother's younger than me. Too young to be swearing, yet he does. I honestly really like this. Sometimes you read fantasy stories and can't relate to them at all, I really like that I can pick something out and compare it to my own life. It makes it seem more real, in a sense. I really hate it when author's write something so abstract that's it's completely foreign to the point where you become disinterested because you can't discern anything and it seems completely surreal-in a bad way, I mean. Well, update soon and have a great day!
| Wherrtle Smyth chapter 2 . 11/10/2006
Hmm... the stone looked like a dinosaur egg... foreshadowing, perhaps?
This story is a little more 'cutesy' than most you'd see on the site, as it's told more from the parent's perspective than from the angsty teen's. I find that refreshing.