|Reviews for Black Seeds|
| Melissa Norvell chapter 21 . 11/22/2007
I see. Thank you for answering my question! Appreciate it! I always like your quotes at the end and I really love the way this chapter in particular ended! It gives me inspiration on Sacrifice. Well done!
| KimonoQueen chapter 21 . 11/21/2007
Oh dear oh dear this is getting more and more intense. I'm a little scared of what I am going to read. And what Joshua will discover.
Oh, and I meant 'Lucifer is gonna be pissed', in my previous review, not Hoshi. When he/she/it gets back to Kanagawa, I hope they have a lovers' quarrel hahaha
Anyway, always supporting this fic! Looking forward to the next chapter. And good luck with your Calculus or homework or exams or whatever you are doing.
AND I missed the 1-year anniversary of Black Seeds pouts Happy Belated Anniversary anyway 3
| KimonoQueen chapter 20 . 11/21/2007
Oh what a lovely conclusion to the arc. And I am now an avid supporter of the HoshiLucifer pairing - Hocifer! Hahahaha something like that!
And now I think Satan is gonna be pissed...
| KimonoQueen chapter 19 . 11/21/2007
This is so emotive... it's bringing tears to my eyes. Allowing a little Christian logic, it can be seen that they really were created by God, having still compassion, as well as a teenage-like resentment of the one who controlled them and made them obey on grounds like 'because I said so' and "because I am God (your father)" heheh. Oh the parallels. And I'm glad I have time to get uptodate on this. Somehow, your ability to express images through words is getting better and better without me even realising it o Thank you for updating, as always...
| Souzou-chan chapter 21 . 11/21/2007
Hm, so Joshua continues his cat and mouse game, and now the appearance of a new player stirs things up. Intriguing . . .
And Dai . . .hm . . .he is intriguing as well. I wonder what he is up to . . .
And who will reap what they sow this time? I can't wait to find out! _
| ElevatorMusic chapter 20 . 11/17/2007
YAY, i understand everything now.
| KurenaiYume chapter 8 . 11/7/2007
Ok, so I'm probably going to give a review every time I finish an arc, and give a comment about it overall, instead of each individual chapter. Once I get to your latest chapter, I'll give an overview of what I really liked, versus what you could improve on.
Now for the review!
For your Sanctuary Arc, I'm not really sure what to say about it. On one hand, I really like the way you developed their personality, especially that of Lucifer and of Sven (Do you watch Black Cat?). The way you presented Lucifer as both a normal and humble human being, yet a judgmental figure in a position of power, commonly associated with deities' and such, was very well done; his appearance as a Mage however...there are a lot of symbolic connotations associated with this, but I won't bore you with them, lest I accidentally give away an important plot point.
And then we have Sven, being the retarded idiot that does not understand the consequences of his own actions until he has experienced them - typically, your ignorant, spoiled brat - at which point, it is too late. The way you portrayed him in the story was really good, to the point where the reader would have actually wanted him to die, using the most painful method possible. Very well done!
Also, there were a few minor typo's and confusing sentences, but it didn't distract from the story. Just read it out loud, and I'm sure you'll catch it.
On the other hand, I'm a little disappointed - which means, I haven't been proven wrong enough. Maybe I went a little overboard and actually tore it apart to pieces, which resulted in my prediction being about 87 to 95% correct - not to mention I already used those plot devices elsewhere, and thus, know how to maneuver through them. It feels a little too formulaic, which I could easily separate it into A has to happen, in order for B to take place, and then C. Then again, this is the second arc, apart from the introduction, which is still too early. And, I hope you're a lot more vague about which character has which Black Seed in question later on, because it was really too easy to guess at.
And as for the seven sins, yet only six seeds thing, I can probably guess - though I'm certain to be wrong at this point - that (Omitted for obvious reasons) has it. I'm probably wrong though, and I do hope to be wrong.
Oh, and another question, did you watch Jigoku Shoujo when you were writing or or were planning it? It feels a lot like it, especially with Lucifer taking the position of Hell Girl, Hoshi taking the position of one of the three assistants, and your typical human who has the choice to take the path of redemption, or to go to Hell - which they all take, for both bad and good reasons.
Well, anyways, I think I'll slow my pace down, or else I'll go through way too fast. Like before, if you have any questions or comments, just send them to me. I'll read it and reply at the most convenient time!
| KurenaiYume chapter 2 . 11/7/2007
Well then, that was an enjoyable read, but then again, I've always enjoyed supernatural plotlines. Since this is only up to the First Chapter, I won't have much to say about the plot, but if you have any inconsistencies you think you have to fix right now, fix them! Especially, before I start tearing the story apart in a very analytical fashion.
Don't worry, it's a good thing. It just means this story - don't really care if it's original or overdone - is really fascinating and interesting. And no, I haven't seen Se7en, so you're lucky in that regard...until I see it. Did I ever mention you're the first author to actually make me think on this site? Congrats!
Well, the prologue - ignoring the presentation - is really interesting, in the sense that it does take current, mainstream thoughts, yet it twists it around, giving it the possibility of, "What if this really did happen?" feel to it. I really liked it, and I think you should reconsider removing the bold text, and try adjusting the formatting of it a bit - fit it more like a free-verse poem, since it looks like one right now. Unless you don't care for looks. Then it's just completely fine.
The First Chapter was quite thought-provoking...okay, it was really only like that at the beginning and the end, but I think I already know why she did it and how. I'll have to read on just to confirm if what I predicted was true. Anyways, you have to watch for your shifting tenses and your prose. There are a few sentences that feel...incomplete, but you'll have to say it out loud in order to catch them. Overall though, your characterization of Lucifer, the very dramatic train scene - although I think it could use a little bit more detail, not too much, just to draw the reader in a little more - and the aftermath of the train scene is very well done.
But I seriously think that the aftermath was a little on the...optimistic side, perhaps? People who get rammed by trains at those speeds - I'm assuming she struck the front end of it without being dragged under - aren't going to be alive. And if they do survive...intact...then they are vegetables - meaning, there is no way they are going to wake up, ever. It's just something to think about. It, by no means, is a critique on the scene. Just a thought.
Anyways, you've done a really good job of latching onto the reader's interest, and providing that little tense moment between Risa and that "guy". I'll be keeping up with this to see how you do, both for critique and for personal enjoyment.
Any questions or comments, feel free to send them to me! I do reply back! Just...not that often...what? I do! Really!
| Melissa Norvell chapter 20 . 11/5/2007
Well, I must thank you for reading Sacrifice as well. I just updated by the way, so feel free to stop by and give me a kind review.
Oh and a quick Q. for you. How many arcs do you have in this piece?
I'm still on the damned Flora Arc...I swear it's the Arc from Hell...(Okay, more like Hiroshima's Arc but you know lol) It's not that it isn't fun to write, it's just that it drags for a while and it's a bunch of going places for everyone. Alot of action though.
Well, I must congradulate you on a job well-done. I wonder who has the final seed...This will definitely be interesting.
| Souzou-chan chapter 20 . 11/5/2007
Nah you don't owe us anything! And another good chapter but I of course cannot wait to see the story of the 5th seed!
But if you really want to repay kindness . . .*snicker* a couple of reviews may work ;)
I'm kidding :P
| Creative Colors chapter 20 . 11/4/2007
Love the chapter, keep it going when you can.
| Palmer's Obsidian Rose chapter 5 . 11/3/2007
If I didn't have anything else to do today I would keep reading. It's very well written especially for the manga variety which I find interesting. I don't know if this is your usual writing voice or what but it's amazing. Like I could see it as a true anime playing in my DVD player. I find it very interesting that it's crafted like this and it would be VERY cool if someone in higher authority made the decision to turn it into an anime.
The characters are incredibly well-round, however there is no true background which in reality isn't really needed, but most of us include it anyway. The diversity is very nice. Lucifer is my favorite at the moment. He seems like a gentleman who just happens to be the Devil. Hoshi, his companion is unsettling and creepy in the role she plays.
Great job. I can't wait to read the rest. But as all stories go, even the mind-blowing fantastic, it could use some tweaking. Just a few tense changes here and there, clarification issues etc. [Lucky for you these aren't major]. Keep it up! .
| Creative Colors chapter 19 . 10/30/2007
It took me a while to catch up with every thing but I love this story. It's just so wonderful. Hope to see a new chapter soon.
| Melissa Norvell chapter 19 . 10/22/2007
This was interesting. I like how you gave Lucifer so much depth and put feelings into him that most stereotypical writers would not. It's nice to see that someone out here besides me tends to not think so much in black and white, but find the shades of grey in between.
| ElevatorMusic chapter 19 . 10/22/2007
AH WHY HAVE YOU STOPPED THERE! i hate surprises! they drive me insane! the tension will kill me one day! I need to know how it ends!