|Reviews for Behind my Blue eyes|
| guardien chapter 1 . 12/6/2006
I actually kinda like it, although I'm on the flip side of the gender equation. It reminds me of what I thought when I saw the girl I write about everyday at the locker's, the way she took her coat off, turned around, the way the looked into my eyes, by mind told me to quite staring, but somehow, I couldn't look away. We would just gaze into each other's eyes for several second, and then look away. I remember.
It's all coming back to me now.
(Faved since I wanna see more)
| Frore chapter 1 . 12/5/2006
Hey, this is your first poem? Not bad at all. I am reminded of Kelly Clarkson's "Behind These Hazel Eyes," but eyes are a rather common metaphor, so that isn't plagiarism.
"I have to wonder, "do you see me too?"
Or do you just see what's in front of my blue eyes."
Nice line! The depth of it grabs at you when you slow down to absorb this piece. I hope you keep writing.
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 11/14/2006
This has a wonderful underlying concept to it. The innocence and sincerity in the words helps to establish the connection to the reader well, as it is a relatable situation that is elevated by the use of the image, "Blue eyes". Good work. Excellent first poem.
| hellogoodbyemynameisguy chapter 1 . 11/14/2006
I like the whole theme of "inner" vs. "outer" beauty, but you didnt really capture your feelings for the other guy.
You kinda focused a bit too much on the stupidity of men and not enough on the inner beauty of women
I liked the "behind my blue eyes" repetition bit
ps nto replies please
pps read my poetry when my account is able to upload poems :P
| loveisonlyafourletterword chapter 1 . 11/14/2006
For starters don't use Behind My Blue eyes like that. It doesn't make sense. You repeated the line, "I will have no interest in..." twice, this was not needed to get your point through. I would also like to suggest you use stanza as it will make your poem stand out more.
| carolynn chapter 1 . 11/14/2006
To me, it sounds like there is a girl who thinks a boy is cute (he opens his locker and she notices him) and then she judges him by thinking that he will judge her on her looks. Then she turns bitter by the end of the poem and sort of convinced herself that he was a mean kid. It wasn't a bad poem, but I just couldn't figure out what you were trying to say