Reviews for Untitled as yet
sourgummyworms2007 chapter 1 . 11/18/2006
a good start. very descriptive. i like the way u wrote this. anyway, you do have spelling errors. good story so far though.
JS Jean chapter 1 . 11/16/2006
Very intruiging. You might want to take your dialogue and organize it a little more. There shouldn't be more than one person speaking per line. The easiest way to figure it out (Believe me, I'm no dialouge genius either) is to pick up your favourite novel and see how they do it, then copy that. That's how I learnt anyway. But I like it so far, I'm looking forward to reading more.