|Reviews for In the AM|
| drippingdreams chapter 1 . 3/27/2007
I like the unmatching parallelism of "pillows, blankets, mattress and empty head." It kind of feels like that when I first wake up and it's too early to be up. I never remember my dreams until later.
"I spied a face, murky and muddy, / Calling out to me beautifully" is a splendid image. It's a little bit childlike [I remember I Spy books] and a little bit creepy and a little bit haunting - the good kind of haunting.
The only thing that bothers me about this piece (and this is just me; I don't know if other people care at all) is that you start every line with a capital letter ... some people like to do poetry this way, but some people just let their Word programme capitalise every line for them because it does it automatically. Also, you have double linebreaks instead of single ones - another obnoxious side-effect of using Word. But these are just picky format/presentation things.
The actualy content of the poem is beautiful. :)
thanks for R&Ring.
| Hilmary-Oceans chapter 1 . 11/27/2006
Wow. Amazing. I'm completely breathless.
Really to me its about lethargy and "not wanting to wake up in the morning". Like you want to hide away from the world forever. You just want to stay at one moment at one time. But then you can't?
| Deadtoast chapter 1 . 11/19/2006
I adore this. Eloquent and lyrical, with a penchant for painting a lovely picture. You should be proud!
| Dina JB chapter 1 . 11/19/2006
To me it's like a metaphor for depression. I hope I'm not too far off, imagine if you were describing your vision of happiness whoa. Anyway, it's good... or sad lol, depending on what you think. You use a lot of big words and they do work but I do think that sometimes a more simple synonym would be just as effective.
Yeah. That's what I think. Keep writing :)