|Reviews for The Summer Story: Book One in the Goddess's Knot|
| Frosthold chapter 2 . 6/21/2007
Interesting! The story needs a little more description than you are putting in. Also there were a few grammatical errors:
Instead of: “Arkks.” Renna declared, “And..." Try: "Arkks," Renna declared, "and..." So basically don't capitalize after a comma and don't put a period in before you describe the speaker, use a comma for that.
Too make the story a bit less confusing every time Numris speaks in their heads, I'd italize it.
And lastly, your characters seem a bit flat. When Kak kills that guy, don't you think he'd be a little remorseful? Disgusted? Something like that.
Other than that the plot moves along very well. I'll read more when I get a chance.
| Frosthold chapter 1 . 6/21/2007
Very good! Only I hardly believe that Renna would believe that Thortak killed her parents. Wouldn't she be in denial? Anyway, I can't wait to read more.
P.S. I am rewriting Nyx, please look over it if you get the chance.
| sharks don't sleep chapter 20 . 4/27/2007
Ha ha. I just love this prologue. Pillan is... well, I can't tell you can I? I think we're hoping to finish this over the summer (we started it last summer, aka 2006). But it's slightly weird and I think we are restarting it. Or not. And we're doing thins huge movie project, which will take up a lot of time. But if we finish it look for it on my profile, all!
| sharks don't sleep chapter 19 . 4/27/2007
Aw, I want to cry now! This book was originally finished on July 27th... I think. Just in case adoring fans wanted to know. I love you all for reviewing! Yay!
| arirang chapter 20 . 4/25/2007
WOWZERS it's done!
Alright I'll give a final few notes. Loved the book! I liked how it ended. It was cute. Kakrian is a little too shy (why can't they make out?), but I love how Anika's thoughts predict another adventure where she's got to find Vlint. So overall, the book plot was so much fun. There was a lot of stuff you guys put in there that you could've expanded on, so I hope to see such expansion in your other stories (btw, I'm really looking forward to A Winter Story).
Loved the preview, too! Is Pillan good or evil? He sounds pretty cool. I'd like him to be a good guy...just misguided, maybe. And owls are crazyawesome.
So this won't be the last I see of you two. Hopefully A Winter Story will come out soon!
| arirang chapter 18 . 4/7/2007
Well, you certainly took your time with this chapter. The mass chaos was very enjoyable. It's a little hard to see 4 people fighting off hordes of Weavers, but that's the only complaint I had.
Renna can't be dead (you can't kill off the main character)! This is my prediction. The whole thing about ebony's song... Song will probably come and somehow heal the wound or someone will literally sing. Idk. I guess I'll just have to wait and find out, huh?
More bloodshed next chapter? Can't wait!
| sharks don't sleep chapter 18 . 4/7/2007
Yes! The congealed blood has finally made its appearance! I remember writing that vividly. And the end comes nearer...
Hope you all are still loving this! Next year the sequel may be up on my page. Ha ha! Betcha can't wait!
| sharks don't sleep chapter 17 . 3/19/2007
I remember this so well. I sat at my computer, copying and pasting all of that darned prophecy. And then making nearly all of that up. Gosh it was fun, though. Let the, erm, bloodshed begin!
| arirang chapter 17 . 3/19/2007
Ahh that was a good chapter...loved the italicized parts. There were a few nitpicky grammatical/spelling errors I noticed, and if you're that desperate to find them, you can tell me, I guess (cuz I don't think they're important enough to discuss right now)
Ehh other than that, I smell a really big crazy battle coming along! Maybe not a big crazy battle, but lotsa bloodshed at the very least. Yummy.
| arirang chapter 16 . 3/8/2007
interesting chapters. The "Phong" and "govon-worm" thing was a little random but that's not important.
Cliffies...I hate cliffies...
Ciao, til next chapt!
| sharks don't sleep chapter 16 . 3/5/2007
Oh my gosh. We are so close now! This was only written 6 months ago! Or, 7? Yes, 7. Not even a year, and I must say that both our writing styles have improved.
But this is so sad! Reliving the whole thing, now, and it is making me want to cry!
Hope you all are still enjoying this!
| arirang chapter 15 . 2/24/2007
ZOMG. ZERA. Oh my goodness what is going to happen to her? And the Akasma sound fishy, if you ask me. So, the Knot has finally met up with Numris himself. Oh Lordy.
Very suspenseful, very...dramatic. Good chap. Sorry this took so long, but update soon.
| sharks don't sleep chapter 15 . 2/21/2007
Oh, I really feel the end nearing now... We only wrote this, what? 8 months ago? In July? Gasp! But it's getting better, all, just wait and see.
| frogprincess97 chapter 1 . 2/20/2007
I LOVE THIS STORY!
| arirang chapter 14 . 2/16/2007
I liked this chapter mainly because you showed a different side of Numris...a more human side, a fatherly side. That was neat! I saw Falcon0Rider's review, who said the second summer is the good stuff, and so now I can't wait to see what happens next! This is getting better than before!
I sound hyper. I am hyper. I have just gorged myself on Vday chocolate. Anyhow...