Reviews for Broken Wings |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Strong emotions running through this. Very well written. I like it. _Kari |
![]() ![]() ![]() ...Amazing as usual...I'm not even sure what to say-I definitly fully relate to this right now...Keep it up-and i'm sorry it's been so long . But i hope to hear from you soon _ -pammy- |
![]() ![]() ![]() I liked the last couple of lines. For me it was saying don't let this get to hold a reign on you, quit staring at yourself like you barely exist. Look back up and keep going. That's always good though, to have someone you're able to live for. Nice wording. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like the rhyming... the second to last stanza is extremely powerful.. beautiful job |
![]() ![]() ![]() wow, very awesome imagry in this poem. like "black wings" and "my soul is burning" and i love the line "breathe sunlight dawn" its so awesome! you certainly have improved! i'm so proud! you are always very good with your imagry, your metaphors and simile's. i adore that in a writer. someone who can take words and transform them into pretty painted pictures in your mind. alive and exciting and passionate. very good, darling. and, it also flowed very smoothly, though there was no definite rhyming pattern, it still flowed nice. very good job! (*thumbs up*) keep writing. it's paying off! love always and forever, ~Davida ;D |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm not even shitting you: would you mind if I made these into lyrics? I so want to make this into a song! Where have you been? How have you been? Why haven't you updated for so long? You're such a love in my life, J... and I miss you. I leave for Nebraska City tomorrow. Cody and I broke up two nights ago, though, so I'm wondering if the vacation will be as "magically terrific" as I assumed. Funny thing is, there was a feeling in the back of my mind saying that something bad would happen. I guess it did. Here's the kicker; do you think something else will happen, or was the break-up all? I'm so terribly miserable; I have been these last couple days. I just don't know what I'm going to do without his company these next two weeks. So, Abby (my current "ultimate fag hag" - as Frankie calls her) added you on Myspace. That's cool. She's a neat person, and so are you. Perfect couple. I'm a Level Seven also in that Dante's Inferno Hell test. Nice job? I miss you so much, and I think about you so often nowadays. Do you think about me too, I wonder? Nevertheless, I really want you to consider letting me use these for lyrics; it's great writing. Nice job. I love you, still. B. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Poor boy! *hugs* ahh well what can you do? I like this and the rhyming stanza at the end wraps it up nicely. Awesome! |
![]() ![]() wow josh... its... i... ah cant think wot 2 say P... i luv it really! plz neva put down that pen... truely amazin stuff inside that head of urs... luv ya xoxoxox |
![]() ![]() ![]() nice... it's really good... though the commas annoy me Oo.. just a bit too many... but i really like this |
![]() ![]() ![]() Ah beautiful. Very, very good. |
![]() ![]() ![]() *bouncynoises* Hi Josh! Woot! I think this piece is gorgeous. Like Claire said, this sounds like a song! _ I heart the ending especially. "So take a look back into my face,/It is there that you will/Find your place". Stunning work my friend! _ Please keep writing/posting! Hopefully I'll have a piece posted soon! ~Anna~ _ |
![]() ![]() ![]() What a feling. im listening to that song right now. :) i love it josh.. i love your use of the big words. and then you tie it off just right :) well done. see you soon :) xoxoxox |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. I love the directiveness of the poem (is that even a word?) and the way that you alternate imagery with it as well. It has that usual edge of suspense carried out really well.. I'd be very grateful if you could look at my work as well. ) |
![]() ![]() ![]() :D this is awesome josh! Reads more a like a song than a poem, especially with the word 'gunna' in it, *shudders...deadly unna?* It is really beautiful and emotional, favs? i think so. Keep writing (and smiling!) Autumn. |
![]() ![]() wow. i really like that. i think i know what its about too :) love this bit: "Black wings evolved from broken..." awesome stuff joshy - as always. LOVE YOU! XOX |