|Reviews for The Ambrosi Aletia Institution: Persephone & Hades|
| buffyangelgirl chapter 1 . 10/14/2009
this is a very great story ever since i first started reading it and i like and love it a lot. your a very great author who wrote this really great and wonderful good story.
| Ironic Presence chapter 3 . 4/3/2007
Hm... well, to be fair, this did sort of seem like a rough draft. It was contradictory when she said, "you're annoying me" and he said, "oh, I didn't know" but then later he says, "but I know everything you're thinking." That part was a little ? There were some minor grammar things, but it was ok, and it can be better with a little bit of editing.
I'm actually looking forward to seeing your 4th chapter! Please update!
| Ironic Presence chapter 2 . 4/3/2007
"Stand the site of me?"
GAH! Wrong use of "sight"! Sorry... I think that's it.
This is a really interesting story... I haven't read the myth of Persephone, but I might... remember... something of it. Is she the one who went to Hades for the winter and then caem back for half the year, or something, and she couldn't come back because she ate the fruit? Or am I completely babbling on another myth?
When I saw the "Institution" in the summary, I thought, "insane asylum?" but clearly, I was wrong.
I like her. I can relate to her. Write on! But wait... there's another chapter that I still must read.
| Ironic Presence chapter 1 . 4/3/2007
Interesting beginning. Good, vivid descriptions, and the scene with her mother was, in my opinion, true to reality (as true as fiction can be, that is).
Powers? Hmm... intriguing...
I do believe you've gotten me hooked into this story as well. I will read on!
| ironicdeathx chapter 3 . 3/5/2007
I love this story so far!
Please tell me you plan on continuing it?
I love how your chapters are short but get to the point. You don't seem to need all that length to explain yourself.
Please, please PLEASE continue this story!
| A.K.A. Writer's Block chapter 3 . 1/5/2007
[It had finally got to me. I can only be patient for so long, which in my case, is not very long.] This is sort of awkward- but funny/clever. A better way to put it might be "It had finally gotten to me. I can only be patient for so long, and, in my case, that is not long. At all." Or something along those lines.
[He didn’t get the message though.] Hmm... something about this feels unfinished. Mebbe change the 'though' to 'still' and play with the wording.
[Hills and trees passed by and the longer I was in the car with him the more irritated I was becoming.] There needs to be a comma- there are two independent clauses.
[For all I knew he could be a licensed weirdo and is out to kill me…or…something.] Ha ha! That is HILARIOUS!
[He spoke. Matt spoke. Well that’s a miracle. Maybe were getting somewhere now.] I've got two things to say here- one, the 'were' should be 'we're'. Two: THIS IS AN AMAZING LINE! ::cracks up::
[Again he smiled. Was that all he was capable of doing? Maybe he has the power to smile people to death] I also happen to be in love wiff this line.
["...A sapphire blue hyacinth…. it was beautiful.”] there is an extra dot in the second dot-dot-dot. Which has a name that i sort of don't know.
[His eyes blinking and his mouth move but no words came out.] Uhm, maybe- His eyes blinking and his mouth moving, but no words came out.
[Still, he didn’t move. I killed my dad. I killed him. It’s my fault.]Wow. Talk about heavy conscience!
Okies. This was my first quote-unquote helpful review. So... I'm really sorry if it was mean. I hope it wasn't. I just felt like... I dunno... being helpful-ish. Anyways, i luff this story. How old is Persephone again? I'm sure I can look, but... -_- I happen to be amazingly lazy.
| A.K.A. Writer's Block chapter 1 . 11/25/2006
hmm... though i amnot quite sure what happened, i really like this. please,update!
but also- i've a question. is it her mother that she saw in the mirror?
and is this going to be sort of like a modern version of the persephone myth, or does the title lie only in her name?
well, update! this is great!