|Reviews for Faith Will Lead You On|
| Mosaic Stains chapter 4 . 7/12/2008
Okay... When we were reading this as a special read before, I had finished reading the story but reviewing it... Sad case.
Anyway there is a saying my loathesome mother-in-law says, which is 'If there was a bucket of sorrow poured into the river, it would taint the whole thing with its unhappiness. Filling everyone, who drinks from it, with sadness, and not allowing the person who poured it to ever heal.' I know a long saying, but when she said this, I immediately found it true.
She also said 'That if a person should drink a cup of sorrow everyday, then what is it they are continuously swallowing besides sorrow'.
Both basically mean if you dwell on the pain of something, then it will only grow. Or if you feed it by consumming the main ingredients of it constantly, then that is all that you'll be consumming day in and day out.
Helpful saying... I found Laura through this entire chapter constantly doing just that... Well, maybe not the entire chapter... I understand what it feels like to depart from the one you believe you love with all your heart, but that is just immaturity and youth talking for her. She is too young to understand that you grow and learn from these experiences. Especially the grow part.
Where most people would feel sorry for her, I'm actually aggrevated by her harping and lingering on her sadness. It's rather obnoxious to me having been in her situation at a young age... but realizing I'm just a child who has yet to understand life isn't over.
Who I do feel sorry for is the Paton kid... Like her I hope he gets better.
Anyway, good chapter.
Hopefully, I'll one day be able to finish this. Sooner rather than later.
| pete's sake delete the account chapter 1 . 7/11/2008
Hm, what I notice first here is that the opening paragraph is completely overdone. It's like a postcard that's been photoshopped so badly it doesn't look real. But, it is vivid. Well done on that count. Try and use less-cliche terms, varied sentence lengths and structures, and more precise and unique words.
I notice that you make one error consistently here:
"This is a sentence." he said.
"This is a sentence." He said.
You need to have a comma instead of the period after the spoken sentence, and then the first word outside the quotation marks isn't capitalized.
The words Laura and Eric use while speaking to each other are somewhat unrealistic; they seem more like the ideas of characters than breathing, living people. Also work on studying your setting; if I remember correctly, there were saloons and (in the west) diner-type eateries, but few fancy restaurants. Maybe going to fancy dress balls would be an indulgence you could substitute.
Try and keep the last sentence strong. Maybe, "'I don't mind,' Laura replied, although a part of her knew that was a lie. She would give anything for a measure of independence." I'm not saying that's what you should put, but make sure the last sentence stays with the readers for some reason.
| Mercyette chapter 27 . 5/24/2008
Aww! *Gives bear hug* I never read the author's note at the end! That makes me want to cry, in a good sort of way, of course! Thanks so much! It means a lot to me to think that I've inspired the love of writing in another, especially one as talented as you are!
Anyway, I absolutely love how it ended, as you can probably guess. It's sad for Eric, but at least Laura can now move on...by faith! You've done and awesome job with this story and I know your future ones will be ever better!
Another positive: I thought the way Laura confessed her love to Wesley was very cute! It may not have been as dramatic as the movie version of Love Comes Softly, but it works just as well. Great job, C. F. Anne! Keep up the great work!
| Mercyette chapter 26 . 5/24/2008
Again, I loved how you managed to capture the raw, emotional turmoil Laura is facing with her decision. It really brings not only Laura but you story to life as well. Great job in that aspect.
Another positive: I absolutely loved the way you ended the chapter! It was a very clever verse to throw in to get Laura to change her mind. Very, very good! Oh, I can't wait for the ending! Reading on!
| Mercyette chapter 25 . 5/24/2008
Aww, this chapter is so emotional in every aspect. You did a great job of capuring Wesley's turmoil while maintaining Laura's determinded faith in Eric. You have a very productive chapter here, even if the reader was begging for them to kiss!
Another positive: You diction was great here as well. I know that it had returned to it's former glory! Ah, the story is so good! I have to find out how it ends!
| Mercyette chapter 24 . 5/24/2008
I really like how you are very gradually letting the relationship with Laura and Wesley blossom. It really makes the story more believable. Great job on that aspect!
I felt that this chapter was a bit rushed, not in content but in the way you wrote it. There are a couple of typos and a few modernizations there that could be attended to and would make the story even better- if that's possible. :D You're doing a wonderful job! I can't wait to see how this ends!
| Mercyette chapter 23 . 5/24/2008
Oh, no! A fire! Well, at least Laura gets to move in with Wesley! ;) I felt your diction was very nice in the chapter compared to the others. Great job on that! *applause* :D
Another positive bit of feedback: I also loved your ending to the chapter. It served not only as a promosing ending, but also told us that Laura is once more regaining her faith! Great job on that! Reading on!
| Mercyette chapter 22 . 5/24/2008
Aww, Wesley's so forgiving! He's a great character and so sweet! I especially like the observation Laura made at the end, about the fact that Beatrice would never see her children. I felt it was really sobering, and it was so in Beatric's character to respond like she did. Great job!
I noticed a couple of typos that I figured I should point out:
" kicked of her quilt..." - You need a space there
"...composed yourself well, during the birth." - I don't think you need the comma
dBeatrice opened it and felt the two tiny shirts he Laura had made... - an errant "d" is at the front of the sentence.
I hope that helps a bit! I know it's not much, but hey...Anyway, very sweet chapter overall!
| Mercyette chapter 21 . 5/24/2008
Aww, the chapter I've been waiting for! I absolutely adore it! She had twins! *Does a dance* I also love the name that was given to the little girl, Lydia Laura. I thouht that was very sweet!
I felt that the chapter was a bit rushed. I'm sure it had nothing to do with my nagging about getting it up... O:) I know you can add more details to it, because you're the awesome writer you are! Keep up the great work!
| Mercyette chapter 19 . 5/24/2008
I absolutely loved how you had the inner turmoil described in this chapter. Laura's grief makes her completely blind to the fact that God always has a plan. You've done an excellent job of describing Laura's bitterness - and with good reason!
However, I felt like I could kick Laura for her behavior towards Wesley. (I'll use that as my negative, even though it's a positive-negative. Wow, I can't believe I catually understood that...) He was only trying to help! But bitterness blinds people, I suppose. Another sad but excellent chapter. I'm going to the next one!
| Mercyette chapter 18 . 5/24/2008
Aww, this chapter made me want to cry! TT_TT Poor Eric! Sadly to say, I felt I knew it was coming. So, all the affection she had towards Wesley was actually not so bad. Perhaps he can help her through the ordeal. Hopefully he can. I loved the drama. You managed to capure it very well.
I felt that the chapter could have been a little longer, especially with all the angst going on. It would have made Laura's pain more unbearable if you could have added a bit more. But that's just a suggestion. Very sad, but great, chapter.
| Mercyette chapter 16 . 5/24/2008
Again, I love Beatrice! She's excellent at knowing exactly what to say and really keeps Laura on the right track. I feel that that connection is vital to the story, so you did wonderfully on that! :D I especially like her last comment in the chapter. It made me smile.
The only thing I can give you as far as concrit goes is that this chapter seemed a bit choppy. You had a lot happening, which I can understand. I believe that's the reason as to why the chapter seemed to take place in so many different scenes. But that's just a small detail. Overall, FWLYO is going great! Can't wait to see what's next!
| Mercyette chapter 14 . 5/24/2008
Aww, you had such a cute ending to this chapter! I like how you led the reader on, thinking that Wesley had decided not to leave, only to have him leave sooner. I thought that was a good blow to the story. If that makes any sense...Awesome job!
Another positive: I also like the reference you have to the poem in this chapter. It's a really beautiful piece of works and fits very well into the story. Great! Reading on!
| Mercyette chapter 13 . 5/24/2008
Again, I personally loved how we got to see a little more about Laura and Eric's relationship. The letters were very sweet! Great job on describing thier still strong partnership!
I thought this chapter was a little to short. Knowing you, I know you could add more substance into it. I can sympathize, however, see as it's a filler chapter. Plus, you know me, I'm a detail freak! Very sweet chapter! Reading on!
| Mercyette chapter 12 . 5/24/2008
You had a nice touch to the chapter by having Laura visit Teresa, the town jerk. I thought it was refreshing, seeing as the reader views her as an jealous, unpleasant character. It was even nicer how she came to terms with her. Great job on that!
I thought I might point out a few grammatical/spelling errors. I saw this chapter wasn't edited, so I want to help out a little. . Here goes:
'Laura nodded, “he was..." - "he" needs to be capitalized.
"...I hope you had a nice time at the party, though.” - you need a period.
“I sorry.” - "I" needs to be "I'm" or "I am".
It could have defiantly been handled in a better way than it had. - "defiantly" needs to be "definitely" (I hope that's spelled right..."
“I wasn’t exactly truthful yesterday.(") - You needed to end with quotations.
"she was engaged…to, to you.” Laura responded. - I think it would be more powerful if you changed the comma. Something like "engaged to...to you" perhaps?
"She always flirted with me, even more so than other guys." This seems a little too modernized. Might consider revision.
she obviously succeeded in doing…(") - need to end in quotes
I hope that helps a bit! Great chap and I'm reading on!