very cute, but many spelling mistakes and “ Nopw that we’ve covered that,” The witch said... did you do that on purpose? Nopw? Now

when things aren't spelled correctly it makes the story look bad. also if its a noticable mistake

but overall very cute

I'm guessing you haven't visited your old stories in awhile. You're probably more busy being . . than Horse 237, but I think this story, with a little rewriting could be great. I love the story idea. I love horesies! And fantisy stories, and it's rare you find the two together(exept unicorns!). By the way what do you have against The Phantom Stalion? I love those books! To each his own I guess...

Keep Writing!

Double A

It was so abrupt! Work on developing relationships, being more detailed, etc. This has great potential...

So far, I've only read the first chapter. But I intend to keep reading, after I get my "first reactions" noted in this review. There's nothing wrong with the basic idea of retelling Cinderella, more or less, with a witch's apprentice as the plucky young heroine. I'm curious about where you're going from here. And I was intrigued by the way the old witch's comments implied that there is a sharp pecking order in the different types of magic-users in this world, with a "sorceress" apparently being well above an ordinary "witch" (or her aid).

On the other hand, I noticed several typographical errors. They didn't prevent me from understanding what you were saying in this chapter, but they were unnecessary distractions. I'm going to comment specifically on a handful of them, in the cause of providing "constructive criticism" (or "Shameless Nitpicking," as I sometimes call it).

* “Where is my staff?” The old woman yelled. She rubed her back and looked, the kind of pathetic look that said she wanted pity. *

Should be: "the old woman yelled" without a capital T. Because the part about "the old woman yelled" is basically a "tag" telling us who is saying the dialogue that's in quotes at the start of the sentence; it doesn't really qualify as a brand new sentence all by itself.

Should be: "rubbed" instead of "rubed."

* “ Did you stay up late reading again? What did I tell you about doing that? I said ‘ No staying up late, Matilda.’ That’s what I said. And no more of these stupid dreams of becoming a sorceress. You are no more than a silly witch’s aid and that’s all you ever will be. There was a knock at the door. *

You need closing quotation marks before "there was a knock at the door." At first glance, I wondered why the old witch was suddenly changing the subject and talking about a knock at the door!

* “ Yes, Milady. As you wish, Milady” As Mati approaches the door there is more knocking and it is faster. Mati opens the door to see a man who immediately tries to walk in. He is covered in armor and completely drenched. “ I am sorry, Sir, but we cannot help you right now. Come back in the morning.” *

Whoa! All of a sudden we've jumped from past tense to present tense. "Approaches," "there is," "opens," etc. A few lines later, we're back in past tense again. That's just confusing. The entire scene ought to be in one tense or the other.

(By the way, there's a space between the opening quotation marks and the the first words of each of the two brief speeches Mati makes in that paragraph I just quoted. I don't know how those spaces got in there, but you don't need them. The same tiny typo occurs several other times in this chapter at the start of passages of spoken dialogue. Also, the part about "Yes, Milady. As you wish, Milady" should have a period at the end.)

* “Get him some hot tea.” Mati’s master said glaring at her to leave. *

That should be:

“Get him some hot tea,” Mati’s master said, glaring at her to leave.

The "tag" about "Mati's master said," telling us exactly who is performing the act of speaking the words "Get him some hot tea," means that "Get him some hot tea" was not the complete sentence all by itself. Therefore, it didn't need to end with a period. Just a comma. And you need a comma between "said" and "glaring" to make it clear that they are two different things that Mati's master is doing simultaneously.

Oh! Update as soon as you can! I just love all of your stories!