Bien here Jave, just want to say how much I enjoyed reading this one story of yours.

Didn't expect such a sudden ending...but I don't hate it. It sets up more stories, first off. And besides, how often do you ever get to see a villain that is truly unstoppable? I mean, you get us thinking Risona & Co. are gonna topple this thing and then bam! Dead.

Liked Risona's story the best, probably. And his former corpse of a body attacking his soulshellMucho Ass-Kickery.

I do kinda feel that the story needs some re-editing and I do personally think it went a little fast (even without the sudden Abomination Destroys the World turn of events), so I barely felt anything at the heroes' deaths. Risona rocked, though.

I do hope there will be more stories taking place in this world.

Thats damned depressing

I love the names you've come up with for everything. This chapter did a really good job of hinting at how the prologue connects to the main plot. I hate it when there's a prologue and then there's nothing relevant to it until halfway through the novel. Of course, you already know I'm a fan of steampunk.

One thing I noticed: beginning of the first chapter you start about five setences with the word several to describe the shop. Might want to change it up a bit, otherwise it starts to read like an inventory.

The idea of soulshells is really interesting and almost a little creepy sounding (in a good way).

Hmm, the Vox seem like an interesting people. As do the Trilos. The idea of "resonance" and singers/songriders is one that I am especially intrigued by. Also, I enjoyed the little sort-of-subtle poke at bad sci-fi writers with the tech-spec-fic thing.

Keep it up. I'm looking forward both to the adventure Risona and the others are going to get into as well as learning more about the world of HoSaM.

Everything seems to be revving up. I'm liking the little bits of in-story info and the sort-of history lessons, but a part of me is wondering if it's a little too much too soon, maybe? Not sure. Also, there are some typos in Chaps 3 and 4 you might wanna fix up so the sentences read through less awkwardly.

I'm really keen on seeing where this goes, but if I may act as the devil's advocate here, I have to say, some of the 3-4 chapter dialogue seems flat or forced, more as a way of manifesting the plot than anything else. Particularly the part where Risona and Cullen are heading towards the Talus and Cullen asks about the protocol for docking boats. Would he really need that explained to him? I'm not sure, since I don't know how knowledgable the people from Eire are concerning the ways of the Drifters, so I'm curious. If he doesn't know, it still seems like maybe that little interaction could be written a bit more realistically. But that's just my opinion.

Cullen's backstory was neat. I hope we get to see some more character-driven stuff with him and Risona and Lisa. That stuff always wins me over.

All in all, my faith in this is strong. So, you know, keep it up. :)

-dreamshell-

Interesting.

This story looks like it could go to some interesting places. Not much to say about it so far, since it's still early in the story, but Risona sounds like an evocative character, being in a "soulshell" and all. And it's neat to see some continuation from "The Contestant" by having Lisa Gomes-da-Cabral show up again. I'll keep my eye on this.