Lovely chapter. I love the style you use to narrate the story. It's unique, and quite refreshing :) Update this as soon as you can!

~carm~

I really like this story so far. Good job, and I can't wait for more :)

~carm~

interesting plot, but horrible spelling and grammer. One of your more constant mistakes was spelling with wrong, you have spelt it like whit. Getting a beta would be most benficial to your story.

Votre histoire est bon pour quelqu'un qui parle l'anglais comme une deuxième langue. Sorry if you couldn't get that; I don't speak french very well. Your story is really good though there are a few errors. Most are minor though I noticed one quite often. I realize that in french 'je' is not capitalized. However, in english, you capitalize the letter 'I.' Also you spelled wasting and a few other things wrong. Other than that your story is great. Better than what I tried to write in french anyway. Update soon.

~*dangelicessence*~

Quite like it really. And just a few capitols in some places but really I like it. :3 More pweese.