|Reviews for In the Eyes of the World|
| Prieda Solo chapter 2 . 12/13/2007
Good so far :) I like all your characters and you start to develop the plot quite nicely. One little criticism though, you tend to spend a little block of text describing your characters in great detail, rather than letting their actions and words describe them, or dropping the details in at different points.
Other than that though, this is good :) I'll be sure to watch out for it.
| Prieda Solo chapter 1 . 12/13/2007
Nice start. You've managed to set the scene well and introduce a couple of characters.
Not too much to say about this because it's a prologue :)
| Torngari chapter 1 . 11/29/2006
Not bad for a prologue. Your word choice is excellent, and you definitly have a clear style. Some of your sentances did tend to get a bit muggy. Sometimes being more direct can help. For instance in the sentance: "And taking into account the fact that they had never been given anything so dangerous that they might have ended up having an army of assassins sent after them in revenge, neither Aryuka nor his father had personally never seen any reason to adopt the nomadic lifestyle that most mercenary bands had to accept as part of their occupation."
Its understandable but it isn't very clear. Splitting it up may help to make your point more distinguishable. And, though i may be wrong, I think the the never in there should be ever.
So Overall great start, I will difenitly get to the next chapter when I get a chance.