|Reviews for Right Round|
| Maybe Estella chapter 1 . 1/6/2007
before i begin, i would like to apologize in advance for my habit of rambling.
i was reading through your comments and i must say that i disagree with the 'masochist' comment. i'm a youngin' compared to most of the people on this site and am quite aware of the definition of 'masochist'. if people don't know the word, than this is a perfect opportunity to learn it. please don't change it if you were concidering taking that course of action. i'm quite fond of that line...
| Sienna Mills chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
Amazing, one of the best one-shots I've ever read, seriously!
I've never really had a song playing over and over on my head, but seeing how having one turned out in Moira's case makes me want to! x)
By the way I love your writing style, so keep it up!
| anacharlie chapter 1 . 12/11/2006
It's funny and cute. I really liked it )
| LethargicLove chapter 1 . 12/10/2006
Hahahahaha, oh man. "You spin me Right round". Oh, that's amazing. This was an adorable one-shot. I really liked how the story flowed.
“Because, you have a lip ring!” I mean seriously, if I were the type of girl to kiss a guy right after talking to him for the first time (which I am not) I still wouldn’t kiss him. He has a hunk of metal protruding from his lip! He’s laughing again, and I realize I have never been more frustrated with a person in my life. I’m just about ready to step onto my soapbox when he opens his mouth to speak.
That HAS to be my favorite reply of all time. Kuddos!
| M.D.Irvine chapter 1 . 12/10/2006
lol cute and embarassing, making out with a guy u barely know in a library great one shot and the song's stuck in my head now so maybe.. lol
| AnOnlyWish chapter 1 . 12/9/2006
such a funny story
| luv me like no other chapter 1 . 12/7/2006
This is so cool. Ha. I love Nathan. He is way funny and cool. Yay for liprings and tongue rings.
| Roz chapter 1 . 12/7/2006
I really like your writing style- it's very descriptive without being too wordy. The plot is really good until you get to the part where Nathan carries Moira's books- not to stereotype, but he doesn't really seem like the type to encourage a commited relationship with their own song. I would expect that he just leaves and has a couple weird occurances that leave the girl really confused and then eventually the girl is all like, "we need to talk about what is going on here" and maybe he gets into a relationship then. But that is just me, and i don't know what you are planning on doing with the rest of the story. I really really liked it though! oh yes and if the audience you are writing for is around our age, do you think they will know words like masochist? I don't think so. I didn't at least- until i looked it up. oh yes and how do you pronounce moira? ANYWAY YAY! I really liked it and want to read more.
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 12/7/2006
| singingeachtoeach chapter 1 . 12/3/2006
"You spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record, baby, right round round round!"
Brilliant! I loved it! The only downfall is that I, too, now have that chorus cycling through my brain... and unfortunately those are the only words I know. Well, and the part where it just goes, "ah" etc. The song does have more words, doesn't it? But I'm getting completely off topic as per usual. I think the comment box was purposely created to encourage people to get off topic. Really, it's so hard to resist! Anyway, absolutely excellent story!
| eliza-smiles chapter 1 . 12/3/2006
i like it. i stumbled upon your corner of fictionpress through Dillusionals favourite list and i must say that this one might pop up in my list...its kool...but now i have you spin me round in my head...mmhmm maybe i should go find myself someone to help with it lol...nice work...ciao
| smeared black ink chapter 1 . 12/3/2006
When you become a famous writer & have millions of obnoxious people pining for your autograph i'll be able to say "i knew her when her pen name was green permanent marker."
So i'm quite fond of your story missy.
Particularly the girl pants & lip ring part.
But other than the fact that the nathan guy was completely adorable, it was really well written.
I really liked how you relayed the girl's thoughts & what not, it was quite humerous.
Except i had no idea whatsoever what song was being referenced.
I'm assuming some old 80's song.
But yeah, also you did a good job of describing little gestures, like when he scrunches up his nose & such.
So, in short.
It was amazing.
| flibbertigibbet chapter 1 . 12/3/2006
nice! i like it
| volleychick89 chapter 1 . 12/2/2006
!lol, that was great! Funny AND sweet...hm, I understand how...Moira?..feels. I would be so embarressed if I decided to go and make-out with a dude I barely knew in the library. hope you write another story!
| Dillusional chapter 1 . 12/1/2006
I freaking love this.
You have some grammar errors. Mainly after dialogue. When ever someone finishes talking, you're supposed to start a new sentence with a capital letter, not a lower case one. Unless you did it on purpose...I don't know.
Still, that's beside the point. This made me laugh. And it was well written. Moira is a very charming character, a little innocent, and kind of crazy. I love that :)
You know, I have Nothing but Mammals in my head right now, I need to go find myself an attractive guy with a lip ring to get it out for me :P
Anyway, yes, lovely. I'm adding this to my favourites list. Bravo.
*walks off singing* 'You and me baby we're nothing but mammals...' XD