Reviews for Scholarship Screw up
Lady of Spring Rain chapter 1 . 12/8/2006
I completely agree with your arguement. Also I think this was a well written, powerfully persuasive paper.
kandai chapter 1 . 12/6/2006
I agree with chaos-abounds. Long before I read this:

"As a Caucasian male..."

I knew you were white. And that's a bad thing. Because right now, you sound like a ranty white male who's angry at all the ethnic kids for getting the scholarships. Here's some things you need to improve on:

1. Mention how you're against scholarships for whites only as well.

2. Do some more research on why the other side. For instance, you forgot to mention that blacks, Hispanics, and other minorities tend to do worse on the standardized tests than whites. People actually record the ethnicity & gender info from the tests and try to find a trend. Then from these trends, they try to figure out if this particular ethnicity is increasing/decreasing in performance and why. If there's improvement, then people will continue what they're doing. But if the scores are worse, then something is obviously wrong, and action should be taken to fix this problem. Now, this is a good reason to have an ethnicity fill in bubble for standardized tests, so you should have a better reason as to why we should not have race fill in bubbles on the test. Remember, this is only one thing you neglected to mention. There are other major facts you ignored.

3. Please refrain from inserting Martin Luther King's quote. Personally, I believe he would not oppose scholarships helping certain races. However, nobody knows his opinion on this matter, so we cannot speak for him.

4. Your story about the poor white kid is not working. For one, he can get scholarships just as easily as the black kid. The only difference is the source. There are so many scholarships out there that anyone can get one. He can get money for being poor, having a twin, writing an essay, participating in a sport, being exceedingly nice or tall, writing with your left hand, speaking klingon, and just about anything else.

I admit this topic is original. However, you need to do a lot more convincing to prove your case. Although this is a big challenge, with more research and revising, I believe you can make this a powerful essay.
Moonhowler0-0 chapter 1 . 12/4/2006
Exactly how I feel. I myself will not be able to afford college and most likely, I won't get that many scholarship offers simply because I'm white. I do get good grades, however,that doesn't seem to matter anymore. I get letters in the mail from a different college everyday, but I would have to get a scholarship to even dream about going. It's sad. White people can be poor too.
chaos-abounds chapter 1 . 12/4/2006
good grief. take some time to proof your piece, please.

also, you ask a bunch of questions, but provide answers to few. i realize that essays are supposed to be "thought provoking," but you shouldnt leave with the reader wondering exactly what is happening. make more direct points. provide more textual support. ask less questions. PROOF YOUR PIECE (there is no reason you should have grammatical or spelling errors).

this is an important topic to a lot of people. i only ask that you take the time to present it intelligently rather than just ranting. standing on a soapbox does nothing but make you a better target.
Euglena chapter 1 . 12/4/2006
THANK YOU! you have just proved to me that others think the same way I do! keep up the good work!
SilentBlueRose chapter 1 . 12/3/2006
I completely agree with you. America has become so paranoid about being prejudiced that they are prejudiced against white people! It's rediculous. And really, with all the scholarships for practically every ethnicity besides caucasian, they are being racist, saying that all those of African/Hispanic/Asian/Indian/etc descent need more financial help than us whites! Which is not true. I say we start a United Caucasian College Fund. Wouldn't people get up in arms about that? It would be great...

And to those that said it's harder for people of non-white descent to get into college, that's not necessarily true. Most collages will accept them so they can have a better 'equality' in their school. That's what they brag about in their brochures, isn't it?

I say we just treat everybody the same, everyone can apply for scholarships, and not pay attention to skin color, because for us white people, racism sucks. (Which is really ironic.)

Sorry about the rant, but this subject is one that sets me off, and I'm glad you agree with me.

Have a nice day.
Our Behemoth chapter 1 . 12/1/2006
Wow! Very well written. And I agree. :]