|Reviews for Misunderstandings|
| Slash girl chapter 1 . 3/7/2008
Wow...what the hell?Not the ending I expected :( *cries* -And why would their dad SHOOT his son?Beating him I understand,but murder? .
| miki chapter 1 . 10/11/2007
so sad T-T
| Lorenz S chapter 1 . 10/8/2007
Whoah! That dad is a devil's son. Great one shot. I liked it a lot. However, I think that their dad's character is so ironic. Or perhaps, he needs mental treatment.
Still, I must say, on the contrary, that's it's a really moving one.
| t.k. kirchoff chapter 1 . 4/24/2007
i really like the idea however i think you rushed through more time on details and background stories and the great idea will become a magnificent story.
| Distant Dreams chapter 1 . 3/18/2007
That's so sad...
| Killing Joke chapter 1 . 2/27/2007
I think the characters need a little more deepth (And a name would make the story flow better) But it has a good story line.
| somuchformyhappyending chapter 1 . 2/23/2007
wow...gay incest. not something you see everyday. lol...great story though, it was definitely original and well, depressing.
| just baja chapter 1 . 2/9/2007
omg that is so sad i didn't expect it
| Isidris Gry chapter 1 . 1/4/2007
Almost made me cry. You did a good job with the descriptions, it's moving. At least his brother went to heaven, right?
| InsanePhoenix chapter 1 . 12/26/2006
It was soo sad :'( but I liked it :)
| magalina chapter 1 . 12/16/2006
That was sad... Their father was a psycho, he even laughed when the other one was crying!
| Limited Edition chapter 1 . 12/15/2006
First thing I noticed was the grammar. Marks (as in punctuation, exclation, question) can only be used in numbers of one or three. The language is very soft and poetic. There is a fine and delicate atmosphere. I love those XD The descriptions feel a bit chopped. "He was there. He looked like this. I was here. I felt like this." I also don't think it has been read through properly eh? You gain bitch slap points on that XD Capital letters...so on, so forth. It feels a bit unnatural that they call each other brother. I'd never ever call my brother "brother" and I haven't heard of anybody who does unless in...Japan hahahahaha um well I think it would create a surprise effect if it's not revealed until later on eh? There is too much telling and not much showing. "He was the shy one." I think a shy person is easy to detect by their posture and demeanor, ne? If those are described, it's easy for the reader to understand it by themselves and they don't feel stupid reading. Some newbie mistakes such as "My blue eyes looked at my shoes." Unnatural. Nobody says their blue eyes looked somewhere. The POV chosen makes it hard to describe the narrator, if you want to do that, choose third person POV, but first person lets one go under the skin. What's more important in this story? Decide that. There are many stories where the looks of the narrator is never described but one gets a picture of them anyway, or let the narrator think about it or notice something about it. It is natural to think "Gosh I'm fat" or "My feet look like duck's feet" or something more positive, but it's not natural to describe oneself. Let his trail of thoughts be his and not yours. I like "I yelled to the floor", lovely picture. Americans have a lovely way of mixing "then" and "than" and other such words. I don't get why. I'd have a right to do it, yet I don't XD This story would be so beautiful if you let go of everything, pictured all of it in front of you and wrote it down like that instead of trying to make the readers like it.
I could never imagine any dad say "fucking fucker", not because of the nature of it, but rather because it's...too street. Something the younger generations say XD Also, the ending gets so very over dramatic that it looses power and realism. Just imagine how it would feel if the dad had simply looked, closed the door and walked away? And then told him something to pin point that it was the older brother's fault? Such suspense. I'd fricking die. Well good job
| NewAgeRembrandt chapter 1 . 12/11/2006
I totally cried.
| failte200 chapter 1 . 12/11/2006
Oh my god...
Did you HAVE to kill him! It could have been bitter-sweet enough as it was, with the possibility of at least a glimmer of hope, but you HAD to go for the No-Holds-Barred absolutely WORST possible thing that could happened? Yeah it sucks.
I mean, for them. For him. As a story, if you were looking to make me feel that way, then congratulations - job well done. I bet I feel EXACTLY the way you wanted me to. But I don't like it. I HATE that feeling.
I only found it because you showed up as OccasusVe-something's sole Fave. Your other stuff had BETTER be different.
| Demytri chapter 1 . 12/6/2006
that ... story is so depressing... i was already sad and now im sadder... oh well..
anyways... this is a really well-written story ...
too bad for the younger brother though...
it wouldve been interesting to see what the (older?) brother wouldve done after he finished brawling... like... take the gun and say something like "this is for..." BANG!
anyways... good job :)