|Reviews for Figuring It Out|
| La Virgen de la Tortilla chapter 1 . 12/8/2006
Very, very, very, very purple. Trim down the adjectives and don't overdo your character's emotions to the point where they're melodramatic.
| Formerly chapter 1 . 12/5/2006
You will never succeed in life because you have poor taste in music.
| Will Sachiksy chapter 1 . 12/5/2006
I apologize in advance if what I write here seems insensitive, but I am reviewing to make suggestions for improving the piece. Nothing more.
Please do not post your stories in the essay section. Aside from that, the story seems overly dramatic (largely a problem in imagery and commentary). Simpler language often has greater emotional impact. Just read Elie Wiesel's "Night." And rather than just making commentary about Clare's situation after the incident, why not show the effect on her with another scene or two. This piece has the potential to create great emotional impact. It just needs another rewrite.
| Lord Whiteroses chapter 1 . 12/5/2006
Wow. Short, but it's a short story, so what could I expect, lol? Anyways, this is nice, but a bit fast paced; it was over too soon. Well done though!
| Sylverie chapter 1 . 12/5/2006
Whoa, this is really touching. I love the descrition that you use throughout this story. You make everything seem so vivid and the emotions that you describe are absolute heartbreaking. Fantabulous job!