Reviews for The Unsavoury Character
May Hearty chapter 6 . 2/23/2007
The following part of the review is written in pig latin:

I atehay hortonTay. ehay siay a itgay. I illway ickkay ishay ssay.

The following part of the review is written in english:

Poor poor Lucilla. I feel her pain. Oh! The Cinderella slipper/cravat thing is groovy. Guten idea.

The following part of the review is written in Russian:

Автор этого романа глуп. Также она носит слона на ее голове. Ее нос походит на морковь.
May Hearty chapter 5 . 2/23/2007
I'll get my slight meaness out of the way now: Haa haa haa Theo! Cry baby cry! Hah hah haa...stupid cry baby.

Anywhozies, goodzie chappie as(ie) usually(ie). I quite like the fact Lucilla didnt just freak out and do something stupid (such as call Felton a jerk etc, making him go into a rage and kill her.) My esitmations of her have risen. Also, good on suspicious Thorton! Nothing like a good quest to keep you occupied.

Bah! Felton is an idiot. Stupid man...going to get a drink.

Aw... Poor Thorton. I'm glad he is actually hurt...unlike the usual guy who will go "Hah haa! It was just a scratch. I am naturally fine until after the swordfight when I need my current love interest to nurse me back to health."

One question though, what was Felton doing during Thorton and Lucilla's chat? I loved that line "I wouldn't say that". It is a line like something Mr Rochester might say. I do think you should add some description after "They continued to walk" . though. Like where they are headed too, etc. Or the surroundings. And also something after "No," she replied.

Tally ho! Off to the next chapter.
Gia Parker chapter 6 . 2/15/2007
wow love ur story -really impressive - its a typical cliche but u keep adding the most outlandish stuff

its great looking forward to the next ch

gluck
Mandy40 chapter 6 . 2/13/2007
Really enjoying this story so far, love the interaction between our two little love-hate enemies. Hope the love part gets rolling soon!
C.A. Sangster chapter 1 . 2/13/2007
I quite like your story. I love how shes quite a modern character, its a nice contrast to the period setting. Thornton character reminds me very much of Darcy. Its like a different version of Pride and prejudice. ] hope you keep writing!
Jacquleine Schaeffer chapter 6 . 2/13/2007
Oh come ON, that HAS to be Thornton. Why isn't he talking to her? Damnit.

I think Lucille was smart to move on. That's what I would do! I mean, of course this is a romance and they're going to end up together (right?) but in real life, they never would, so it's totally smart of Lucille to move on. Also, Felton needs to give the hell up.

I hope to know soon exactly why Thornton is going abroad...I mean, there's a specific reason, right? Why didn't he tell Lucille? Rar.

More soon?

J.S.
Jacquleine Schaeffer chapter 5 . 2/13/2007
Earthy brown meeting cloudy grey. Very poetic.

I like the chemistry Thornton and Lucille have.

Also, I had a feeling Cecilia was his sister or something. Thornton should only have eyes for good ol' Lucille.

Anyway, this was the most exciting chapter so far. Lots of swashbuckling and the like! I enjoyed it.

J.S.
Jacquleine Schaeffer chapter 4 . 2/13/2007
Another good one! The increasing feelings for Thornton seem very realistic. Although...why was he in an embrace with another chick? I also love how every story with a ball has a labyrinth of a garden. That's not a dig on you at all, it's just that it's the best place ever for a secret rendezvous, hahaha.

I also loved the proposal scene in the beginning. Her little comments after every one of his statements cracked me up. To me it was reminiscent of the proposal scene in Pride and Prejudice, the first one with Mr. Collins, which always makes me laugh.

On to read more! I love the length of your chapters. I hate when they're too long!

J.S.
Jacquleine Schaeffer chapter 3 . 2/13/2007
Hey! Sorry I haven't reviewed in a while.

Your story is still great so far. Lucilla is a good character, she's not a wilting flower but she's not that cliche defiant, horseback-riding girl that everyone seems to write about and yet never existed. She's just defiant enough to be believable for the time period and interesting, too.

And I really like Thornton too. Very smoldering! Haha.

Anyway, I still would suggest more description; your story seems a little dialogue-heavy. But hey, it doesn't bother me that much, and I have the exact same problem in my writing, so I can't crtiticize you on that very much.

In any case, I'm going to read more.

J.S.
GentleTurbulence chapter 5 . 2/8/2007
SwEeT! I'm so happy he wasn't cheating on her.

If there is one thing I despise,

it's a backstabber! plz update!

-Sahlili20
unfinished chapter 4 . 2/1/2007
I am reasonably suspicious of Felton... What is he planning? And who is this woman Thorton was with? His sister?

I look forward to the next chapter.

Also, good writing style. Decription is well used (e.g. hot from the crush of bodies)Also, the line "Lucilla shivered in delight at the contact" gave me goose pimples. Keep it up!
May Hearty chapter 4 . 1/26/2007
Ok, now Lucilla is being annoying. Who gave her the write to pick on Felton? If some guy was proposing to you you would not stand there ridiculing him! What a pig... for all she knows he might passionately love her and she is crushing his heart. Poor stupid Felton... Lucilla should kick her own ass.

Lucilla and Thorton are equally gits. They suit each other. Oh boo hoo he doesnt know whether to kiss her or not. If that is the worst thing he has to worry about he is doing pretty good for himself...

Lucillia is an idiot. How ridiculous to ask for him from a guy she recently refused the proposal of! She should have just gone and got drunk. That would have solved all her problems.

Yes I know I have been very mean to all the characters in this story but currently they all annoy me. I think I am just being a big grump ass. And a bitter cynic of love as a whole. Who just generally is out for some ass kicking.

Sorry if my reviews have kiced you off into the depths of despair (hee hee Anne of Green Gables quote). Feel free to yell at me.
May Hearty chapter 3 . 1/26/2007
Thorton is so BLAH. He's just like "Wah wah wah I know everything. Do what a say." He needs to take his head out of his own ass and take a look in the mirror. A long hard look. And then do a little dance. Which will only futher illustrate how stupidly annoying he is.

Anyhowzies, good good on the writing as (as annoyingly usual) but I think Lucilla needs more "umph". And should kick Felton and Thortons asses (their bums, not their donkeys). As they are both jerks.
J.E.Wyatt chapter 3 . 1/18/2007
Ah, what a delightful chapter this was! I hope you will update soon. And I found no grammatical error - I'm horrid at grammar myself.

-J.
Gia Parker chapter 3 . 1/15/2007
love it, like the way u develop the characters, pretty original way of doing it too, like the lil brother aspect as well

only thing...update more often
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