Reviews for Pretty
Gilee7 chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
Browsing the reviews, I saw someone call this poem "schizophrenic," and I agree. The first stanza starts off really sweetly- pretty girl kissing pretty boy, "sweet-nothings bubbling from tongues"- and then the mood instantly changes with the next line: "You say I'm pretty but do you mean it?"

It's like when a guy and girl are being romantic, hugging and kissing and telling each other how much they love one another, and suddenly the guy slips up and says something stupid, or something the girl takes the wrong way. Suddenly the mood is ruined. The girl pushes herself away, makes that face and says, "What to you mean I'm [insert here whatever he said]?" And then of course the guy stammers, stutters, retracts what he said, so on and so forth.

But in this poem, I don't see where the guy messes up. The girl is just too self-conscious. He called her pretty. So what?

The speaker of the poem makes the word "pretty" seem like an insult. Is pretty not good enough? She'd rather be called beautiful? Extravagent? Magnificent? She hears the word "pretty," and suddenly she's thinking of "pageantry tiaras," as if she's been compared to the snobby, better-than-thou, preppy bitches that think they're royal shit because they stand on a stage and have people judge and absorb their grand appearance. But that's not what this poor guy means. He's just a stammerer, awkward and unsure how of express his feelings in any articulate manner. So he falls back on the overused, generic "pretty." And the girl has to get all, like, 'what does that mean? there are too many "whys" in that sentence.'

So we shift from cute little kisses and sweet-nothings to "gooseflesh" and "tiny pinpricks" as the guy is having his skin CHEWED! That can't feel good, surely. Chewed is just one step below gnaw. That's not a sexual, sensual verb, but a cannibalistic one.

I dislike this girl and feel no sympathy toward her whatsoever. Maybe it's because I'm a guy and I can't relate. I don't know. Maybe you don't even want us to sympathize with her; maybe you're just speaking in her voice to expose her inability to be happy, her incessant need to question everything instead of just accepting, relaxing. But for some reason I get the feeling that you weren't criticizing her and that we weren't supposed to, either.

I love the alliteration: "pretty," "picture," "posed," "passing," "pigment," "perfect," polite," "pinpricks," so on and so forth. Often when writers try too hard for alliteration it comes across as contrived, but here it didn't. The words fit perfectly into the context of the poem.

And, as usual, the rhythm and flow is perfect (p word!). I love reading your poetry aloud. Every comma and brief pause seems to come at the perfect moment. You either hear everything perfectly in your head or you spend a lot of time reading your words aloud to yourself to make sure the poems have a certain beat.

Great imagery, too. Probably the one that stands out the most to me is the image of the hands forming a "crooked prayer" on the girl's face.
Fabian Cortez chapter 1 . 3/28/2008
And again one can picture the whole scene. The insecurities rife thick in the air with the chance or not to be taken and the risks involved.

I'll say no more, well other than as always this stands well amidst your works.

Very Well Done

KEEP WRITING!

F.C
greenGalilee chapter 1 . 9/3/2007
Goes straight for the kill. Incredible title, too.
not sure yet chapter 1 . 2/24/2007
o, i love much of the imagery in this one, pretty was always a sucky word, especially love the stanza that starts with but there are too many whys, the statement at the was very strong and very accusing, which struck a little odd since the person seems to not really know, i also like the switching from first and third person, nicely done
fergyness chapter 1 . 2/22/2007
this is an amazing topic, well written and very nicely done in the feelings possessed in this piece. i absolutely love how you used the "crucifiction" line that is also in the "IF I" poem.

your writing is flawless and creative.

i love it.

]
breezy nostrils chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
reminds me of "Pretty" by Stevie Smith. very similar theme. i guess pretty is meaningless after awhile.
Iris Early chapter 1 . 2/18/2007
'a plague of pretty'.

wonderful, i love the story it tells.
dafodil-faerie chapter 1 . 2/15/2007
Your writing is beautiful and the way the poem flows is amazing. I love the concept and how you portrayed it. Great job!
Natasha Borialis chapter 1 . 2/1/2007
that was really rad.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 1/24/2007
I like this... its powerful and beautifully written... the repition is good too... awesome piece
Passage chapter 1 . 1/24/2007
This is a really nice piece of work. It really is an excellent portrayal of the uncertainty of the love that we all wonder if we want to wake up from...
Tytherpol chapter 1 . 1/22/2007
This is beautiful.
Lifeless Prophet chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
It is shameful that I have nothing more to say than it was fantastic and very interesting… something like a waltz through the shadows of a confused lover. I liked it a lot.
mate.feed.kill.repeat chapter 1 . 1/13/2007
I like the style of your writing. It's pretty cool. The format rocks.

The word flow is good.

I think it may just be the fact that I'm feeling extra-insane right now, but I think I'm missing the complete meaning of this... I'm catching probably about a tenth of it and the rest of it is way over my head. So I guess that I'm saying that it's really good and I'm just missing it.

I blame the insanity on the heavy metal music that happens to have the house shaking right now.

-stixerz-
Monochrome Lovers chapter 1 . 1/7/2007
The poem is not only quaint, but trite.

It's easy to get lost in the flamboyance of the words, and the meaning is totally skewed. It's not just the wording, but also the structure of the poem that gives it a complicated deceptiveness, and frustrates a reader who is trying to discern its main message, image and sentiment.

It's easy to see that the pretty girl isn't satisfied with the boy's "stammers". She wants a true declaration of her "pretty-ness", which, maybe in this poem's world, means "beauty". He's fixated on sex, though, so it's quite difficult for him to convey to her in clear words how he sees her. It almost seems as if she thinks his shyness and inability to tell her is sort of... well-practiced, like he's got down the art of the totally enamored guy who can't express his love.

It's a jaded poem, and a lot of its effectiveness gets lost in, what I think, is an inability to convey clearly what the message is.

The analogy of the prayerful hands reminds me of Romeo's first encounter with Juliet, which, in its own right is hackneyed and well-practiced in this day and age.
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