Reviews for The Covenant
Endless Curiosity chapter 2 . 9/28/2011
Good overall.

Two criticisms: a bit more introduction about the mayor would be good. And a bit more on the crash as well. Still like it though
Endless Curiosity chapter 1 . 9/28/2011
Firstly, before I forget: line 1, Unclein - bit unfortunate that there's a typo in the first line, but oh well.

Other than that, good, a bit short though in my opinion. I liked how you end it a bit suspensefully, with the reader left in curiosity of what's going to happen, but also, why are the King's messengers visiting a village. Good start
Lomesa chapter 11 . 11/6/2009
Honey weed? Hm... Maybe Anja's a wizard and she was strenghened by it and now she's the only one who can stop the bad guys by destroying the crystals because they also have something to do with Honey weed... At the cost of her life, perhaps. Ooh... I just love wild guesses.
Lomesa chapter 7 . 11/6/2009
Bravo. This scene was done very well. Just a few spelling mistakes caught my attention and that 'He begrugingly agreed.'

will sound better if it's turned to 'He agreed, grudingly.'

Gr... can't believe he got wounded, stupid prince, he just messed up their only hope. How old is Domonick, if he's Luciens' trainer? And Anja's hardly old enough to get married. Sound like a big age gap.
Lomesa chapter 6 . 11/6/2009
Anja's personality comes out very nicely in this chapter. I could only see one mistake and that is a missing 'are'in paragraph 16.

Also, I don't think someone in armor could really run very fast or jump onto a horse. From what I've read armor is heavy. Very heavy.

Anyway, I'm really angry at Dominick's horse for ruining the whole rescue plan. No! Well, at least it gives her a chance to get to know Dominick. Poor Leeren, he's going to get into a world of trouble.
Lomesa chapter 5 . 11/6/2009
Interesting chappie, this. I'm happy to know Domonick isn't as cold-hearted as he seemed at first. I hope Lucian gets back fast, he'd hopefully be able to do something to prevent the whole mess, he still believes something can be done.

Also, I think its a fast horse and not a quick horse. You run fast, but you turn around quickly.

Ooh... Domonicks' guilt better get the best of him.

It seems Leeren and Anja are getting alond well.
Lomesa chapter 4 . 11/6/2009
Lucians' vocabulary fits him perfectly, though this chapter could really do with a lot more detail to capture the chaos of the attack. I also think you could add a bit more emotion to Luciens' feelings in the whole situation.

'I was at the strategy table planning strategy with...'

In my opinion that second 'strategy' is more than a bit unecessary.

Also, I have no idea what a varsek is and they aren't described well enough for me to be able to imagine how they would look.

A little more detail in the character descriptions would also be nice.
Lomesa chapter 3 . 11/2/2009
Talk about curiousity killed the cat. Poor Anja. She sounds sweet. Will she be able to melt Domonick's heart or will the

cheek-stroking Leeren be the future love interest? Gr... I think he could prove to be rather annoying in the future.

I love the majors' stutter. It is so evil, expecting him to tell her guardions that she's going to be sacrificed.

Couldn't see any mistakes in this chapter. Well written. Good choice of words. The end of this review.
Lomesa chapter 2 . 11/2/2009
Please don't tell me she gets sacrificed in the end! Does she and Domonick fall in love? Questions, questions. Great, that's what writing is all about, keeping readers wanting to know what happens next.

There are just a few mistakes when it comes to grammer, a forgotten fullstop, a comma in the place of a fullstop, nothing major.

Your characters all sound different, thats good. I hate stories where all the characters sound the same.

I would really apprieciate it if you would review my story if you have the time.
Lomesa chapter 1 . 11/2/2009
Sounds promising so far. Couldn't see any mistakes except in the first paragraph, just a little spacing mistake "unclein"

Many of the sentences are the same length, making some of them shorter and others longer will make the story sound better. Otherwise your vocabulary is good and your description of Dominick is done very well.
Selene Hime chapter 15 . 10/14/2009
Wow ... This is amazing. Even though Lereen died, the possibilities of what could happen are nearly endless. Anya, Dominick, as well as the remaining cast of characters.

To say the least, I'll be looking forward to your next installment of your story. _
TheatricalityAndDeception chapter 3 . 7/9/2008
This is great! I'm intrigued, so far I've only read up to chapter 3 (mainly because I spend too much time on my PC and my eyes have begun to hurt) but you've really got me hooked.

You've managed to show the story from the separate points of view without making it sound like it's the same people writing it - you've got inside your characters heads.

I like the fact that the Mayor and Dominick know what is going on but Anya doesn't, it builds tension and reveals enough of what is going on without giving it all away at once. And you can't help but wonder how Anya will react when she fully understands what is happening to her. I shall add 'The Covenant' to favourites and come back often. Good luck with the rest!
Medieval-Rogue chapter 3 . 6/18/2007
*sighs* You have continued the same talent displayed thus far. Anya is an interesting character, and I'm glad you gave her reasons for spying- writing material? She's somewhat a rebel against society in the fact that she doesn't want to just pick corn and survive- she wants to live life her way, even if it's only a little different than others. Her shock is realistic, and I'm wondering what her reaction will be when she's taken fully away. Perhaps a small detail that says she actually heard the mayor's conversation and perhaps her feelings for a moment on them after she falls will be a good addition- though she did bump her head...

You've done a very good job of portraying the Imperial Guard as well, showing that they're following orders but not at all happy about it, and that it stings for them to do these things.

Another chapter well done!
Medieval-Rogue chapter 2 . 6/18/2007
I will say first of all that I reread chapter one (I am sorry I am such a sporadic reader/reviewer- but I guess that's just living life), and loved it. I can't quite remember how it was the last time I read it, but this time it truly was lovely- extreme cookies for such a wonderful revision.

As for this goodness. It has been quite a while since I found a new story that has kept me rapt with attention within such a short amount of time- the mark of a potentially great writer. I don't know what this chapter was like before this revision, but as it is now, it is...golden. Before I believe that I said there is not enough detail, and I think the reason it seemed such was because the lack made it hard to understand the story. Now, however, there is still only the necessary detail - both a good and bad thing - but events are clear, and I will definitely say...interesting. I'm loving the plot as it is now - most unique - and though I think you should include more information concerning the circumstances surrounding this treaty, I'm sure you'll get to that in future chapters.

I am extremely glad I added you to Rare Gems.

_ Many Cheers!
Rosey Prosey chapter 11 . 5/30/2007
I like this so far. It has an interesting plot, and you've done a good job incorperating a lot of well-rounded characters without making the story too confusing. Also, the POV shifts give an opprotunity for some helpful perspective and insight. The only thing that you might want to take into consideration is grammar; I noticed a few sentences that I had to re-read a couple of times because a random word or comma was missing. However, if you don't really feel like revising your work, you can just get a friend to beta-read (plus, it's a lot easier for other people to spot your mistakes). Keep up the good work!
20 | Page 1 2 Next »