I found a song that is perfect for your story! Maybe you based this story on the song, but I dont know...Its called "Set me Free" by CAsting Crowns! Please listen to it! (:

This story was okay, but the end was unsatisfying. It was just kind of a boring end. And the story didn't feel like it had much energy. The characters did, but the story just kind of felt like it was happening. I don't know how to explain it. It just felt a little...flat.

confusing but good. :)

I loved your story...

Hm... I didn't quite understand what happened with Mike. And again, a too rushed ending, in my honest opinion. What happened to Peter and how was James involved? I think you should clear that out. I liked the last part, though. Her parents throwing her out, that was great, it shows that she loves John more than anything else, I really liked that. Again, I strongly advise a grammar/spelling check, and a little more work on the last two chapters.

Kudos and Toodles!

Jessica.

Out of all three of your stories, I definitely liked this one the best. You just seem to be in your element, writing supernatural romances. Have you ever given a thought to writing fantasy? I think you'd do fabulously well (I'm not just telling you that because I absolutely love fantasy...).

Anyway, I just loved the twists you kept making to the story. Poor Shannon had to put up with all of them, of course, but they made the story better. Especially the twist with John actually being Vlad Tepes. That was very interesting. And both John and Peter vying for her love, each telling a convincing story. But you never really cleared up why Shannon felt a "warming shiver" type thing from Peter when he was telling her his story. Was it just because he was charming her into sort of falling for him?

Well, this was excellent! Fabulouso! Definitely going to my favorites.

-Lithely

AWWSS GREAT ENDING but wow her family sucks, but then I think i would have done the same thing. GOOD JOB!

I loved the story. It was awesome! I can't wait to read more from you. :3 )

Hello. I've read just your first chapter, and I could be telling you about something you fixed in the next chapters, but I still feel compelled to tell you about a few of your structural problems, as far as syntax and things such as that.

In some of your spoken sentences, you leave off your ending periods. "This is an example" It's not often, but often enough that it caught my attentin.

When you have a paragraph when some one said somethign and another character did something, that should be two paragraphs. For example: (this is from your story)

"You need me, and I need you."

The weight of those words was bigger than anything that Shannon had ever heard before. Like listening to a prophecy, to a revelation. She knew she had to say no. She knew she should run away.

He leaned forward, his face closer than ever. "Will you call me, Shannon?"

She held her breath, and looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

If I came across as a know it all, I apologize. It was not my attention to do so. I just recently learned all of that myself in a creative workshop back in April, and I thought maybe I ought to pass it along.

I'm going to finish reading your story now. )

hey...so I wanna say that I read your whole story yesterday and that it took me about 2-3hours but I didnt get the chance to review so Im doing it now lol...well first of all wow...yeah ur probably wondering whats that well I wanna say that I love your story, its so complex that Im actually beggining to wonder if u changed the plot while u were still writting it, anyway, its a great story, great characters, amazing plot and I love the fact that its so unpredictable that intrigues u till its end...it has so many twists that I didnt know what to believe but phew that it turned out okay lol...towards the end I was actually doubting that John and her were gonna end up together but thatnk god thats a happy ending lol...anyway, congrats. cos honestly I was surprised that u made a connection between Vlad Tepes and vampires, since everyone knows about Dracula and not Vlad but Im glad to see that u got your facts right, and Im actually impressed, myself being from Romania, well Transilvania actually lol...well amazing story, u really got some great writting skills and well hopefully there's gonna be another vampire story from u seeing as this one turned out great.

holy crap i onlu just finished the 5th chapter and i'm hooked. gah i'm gettin scared lol somethin about it. well i love it so far

You finally updated and completed this story! What a bittersweet ending, but I still think is one of the best stories I've read on FP. In fact, I may just re-read this one again.

pleaz update soon! can't w8 for the next chapter...its a REALLY good fic ]

oh what twists and turns! and u left at a cliffhanger. damn. ah well, its ur story. a good one too. therefore u must continue...quickly.

HOLIE MOLIE! SO MANY TWISTS!