|Reviews for Of Disillusions|
| C.F. Anne chapter 4 . 4/16/2007
I'm so thankful that you have continued this story. I thought that you abondoned it. Anway, I feel so sad for Donya, becasue she will suffer the same fate as Nazanin. Please update soon. I'm eager to see what will happen. I had been wondering where you were so to see you update gave me relief. (:
| C.A. Sangster chapter 4 . 4/15/2007
Yay you updated!. It's getting very interesting. I hope her love affair with Anoush is not overly disrupted by this war. Keep on going, its all very good. ]
| l. fayette chapter 3 . 2/23/2007
I enjoyed that chapter immensely. And I do wonder what you're setting up as the main conflict aside from her tangled love life...
also, I'm not even sure of this, but do you describe Donya as Portugese at some point? Because at this time it would have been Espagna. Completely ignore that if you don't describe as Portugese. Anyways, update quick
| A.X. Balov'czeko chapter 3 . 1/27/2007
I'm so glad to see the next chapter up! I thought it was well done and truly emphasized the decaying relationship between Yazdan and Nazanin. Speaking of those names, it disturbed me a bit that you changed Sarita's- you should probably go back and change her name in the other chapters for coherency, if you didn't already. Also, writing "Donya" will surely help the people that couldn't properly pronounce the tilde in her original name. While we're on the constructive criticism track, as I reread the story and more carefully read this chapter, I noticed a few historical innaccuracies. Depending on the exact time period, and due to your reference of the polytheistic gods of Persia, your characters probably aren't Muslim, but Zoroastrianist(I'm sure I misspelled that :) ). Also, from what I've read on Persian history, women and men shared much more equality than in other regions of the time- though, depending on the source, this could change. Conversely, don't be too concerned about history. You are an artist, not the author of a textbook. Take your liberties, so long as they are not too many. I hope this helps, and again, beautiful work!
Anticipating the next chapter,
| C.A. Sangster chapter 3 . 1/27/2007
I'm glad she found someone that she can finally trust (so far). The storyline is very good. I'm anxious to see what happens next. D
| C.F. Anne chapter 3 . 1/27/2007
Yea! You updated...gosh it's been so long. lol. Well, this was a great chapter...very sad, but good.
| Kohlomere chapter 3 . 1/27/2007
Wow...poor Nanazin. It's beautiful, I'm sure I've told you that before. It's just so sad though. What a life. Anyway, it's so great that you updated, please oh please keep it up. Good job, E.
| A.X. Balov'czeko chapter 2 . 1/14/2007
What a lovely tale! I must say, your grasp on Persian culture is astounding, and truly immerses the reader in the world you're taking them to. The characters, the details (such as the Persian goddess of protection, and how Dona, with pale skin and red hair, would be exotic amongst dark-skinned, black haired Persians, while elsewhere she'd be seen as fairly normal) are all so lovely. Mechanically, you seem to edit your work quite well- good spelling and grammar, and the pace is very steady. I would have to say, to be constructive instead of entirely doting, that the beginning was a little fast- you can take your time gradually guiding the reader into the story. Also, I do hope you update- it looks like it's been around a month since last you posted anything, and I'd hate to see you abadon this. It has so much potential.
Keep writing always and many blessings-
| Kayamel chapter 2 . 1/4/2007
This story is...well, the only word I can think of at the moment is "great". Your description really stands out as the best. I could feel everything that the main character was feeling and that's a quality of a truly amazing story. Your main character has a very distinct view on things, unlike those I've seen in other stories...I don't know how to put it, but she seems to have a slightly cynical (I don't think this is the right word, but it's the closest to what I mean) view. Anyway, I love this story, faving it, and I can't wait for an update!
| l. fayette chapter 2 . 12/31/2006
ah, now i see your persian gods
therefore in my opinion, you should give them persian names, similar to the ones you have but persian.
| l. fayette chapter 1 . 12/31/2006
this seems really good thus far, but ew, chalky white skin? puh-leeze. tan is so much better.
and just as a point, i assumed from the names used that they were Muslim and yet you say "pray to the gods" so, maybe you should clarify for those who jumped to conclusions becuase you used arab names such as "omar" "kareem" and "abdul" versus names that are persian like "xerxes" and "darius" which were used in persia's polytheistic days.
also, traditionally, choli is an indian dress
| C.A. Sangster chapter 2 . 12/30/2006
Men can be such assholes! I love your story! Its very believable and the way you've written just adds to a great storyline. Anyway write more soon :)
| AmbrosiusEmrys chapter 2 . 12/24/2006
| Wings As Eagles chapter 2 . 12/20/2006
wow! This chapter is BEAUTIFUL...very well written! I feel so bad for Sarita...at the same time I'm glad that she has Omar, who still loves her.
I can't wait to find out what will happen next!
| C.F. Anne chapter 2 . 12/17/2006
so sad! how could Yazdan do that to her? anyway love the way you wrote this chapter and all the descriptions. update soon! (: