I love this! UPDATE!

OMG A NEW CHAPTER! Thankyouthankyourthankyou! Poor poor Kim and Jake. Separated by the war. Hurry up and end the war already! hehe... Update soon!

Loving the story. Keep on writing .

Poor Kim! He has it so rough! Everybody he meets keeps abusing him..Update soon b/c Jake has to rescue Kim! :-)

hello there. i applaud you on making this story very... alive. your stlye of writing is something that most work on for a very long time to perfect.

there really isnt much to say about this one. you had a very clear picture of what was going on and what the characters were like, so i give you props. you could tell what the scenery was and all that happy stuff.

my only problems are as follows... first off, when using words like "he" and "him" when there are two guys, make sure that you use on of the two names. say it was something like... "jake looked at him and noticied that he smiled in his sleep." you get a clear knowledge of who is... saying, i guess, that sentence. it wasnt something like "he looked at him and noticied he smiles in his sleep." a bit more confusing than the first since you dont know who was watching who in their sleep. do you follow? i cant remember the correct name for it, but i do know that it only happened once or twice. its just something to look out for.

also, is kimran's sister dead? that may sound quite moronic, but that part was a little fuzzy for me. well, i know now that she is dead (or at least i hope im right... well, in the sense that then im not going wonky...) but at the time when it was written, it was a little hazy. that was just something that might be a little confusing... or i could just be insane.

remember that when someone is speaking that you have to make the dialouge a different paragraph. it wasnt that you did it often, but sometimes you slipped and made it so that the dialouge with no he said, she said, by it was next to each other... do you follow? i think what im saying is that when the people were talking the dialouge was sometimes next to each other instead of being in seperate paragraphs. yeah... thats what i mean.

i do believe that is all i have for you. all around, this is a good story and i do hope that your muses come back to you... just keep those few things in mind and i do believe that you will be golden. tah!

:D I like this story.

Leroy's emotions seem quite complicated. He loved his brother, but now hates him to the point where he actually hurt Kim.

Update soon, please. :D

Hey there! I must say Im impressed. This story is great. its fast-moving yet not too fast. the characters are interesting and dont develop too fast. Kim is really too cute and I guess jakes men must think their prince is kind of off his rocker, huh? with him shouting random orders and taking them back. _

Anyway: I hope he finds Kim and the evil brother sees his wrongdoings... (yeah well, so what? Im a fan of happy endings - sue me! ;P)Erm what else? Oh yeah: please update soon! pretty lease? *does puppy dog eyes* Because the last update was quite a while ago it seems and I really like this story and Ill definitely keep an eye out for updates. I promise to review, too! (always do actually :) so read ya hopefully soon! :D

Oh very interesting. I like the way you've formated the characters and the plot. You may seem surprised that I read yaoi but hey, you find out something new everyday.

Volurin

Lol. Finally, it's mutual.

I love this story so far. I just thought I'd drop by and compliment your characterizations. :)

So, I'm just guessing here BUT I bet Leroy and Darryl fuck. Sorry. I couldn't help myself. That part at the beginning when they thought he wasn't breathing I got all worried. I went into a panic for a bit. Oh well. Update soon! I need more material for my new Darryl/Leroy fantasies.

Easter present?

Seems a little late for that...

But my half-birthday's coming up, and an amazing half-birthday present would be a new chapter, you know.

Hint, hint.

yay! its finally up! i've been waiting, dying with excitement, for the next chapter. thants sad, though; wat happens to kim, i mean.

zOmg!

I was gone like...murder you if you didn't bring Kim back. I dislike Leroy a lot now, more than ever. Kim's so pretty, how could he do that?

Anyways, nice job. Keep it up && update soon!

AMAZING! It was a little short, for you, but still awesome. I can't wait till next time.

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:] I like this story a lot. It's very adorable. Poor Kimmy. I thought he died cause I had to go to bed before I got to read this chapter. I was like NO! . But I'm glad he's alive. yay.