|Reviews for Captain Skyler|
| Pantu chapter 27 . 3/14
So, I enjoyed this story. I found it going through someone else's favourites. It wasn't the most gripping storyline just because of your structure, but I liked your characters and I thought that the world building you had done was just great. There are a few unanswered questions mostly about why eph ended up being made a black coat and what the blue eyed Elrad boy was all about, certainly there is enough for a second part, though I understand why you might not want to write one. Overall this was an enjoyable read, and I hope that you are still enjoying your writing whatever you are up to now.
| Addiena Saffir chapter 4 . 12/8/2013
I'm dying to know the differences between black and white here oh my god the possibilities.
| Prince of the Rising Sun chapter 26 . 9/18/2013
Oh god!I hate how and chop bits of my reviews!Sorry if some parts of my review don't make sense or sentences are incomplete...
| Prince of the Rising Sun chapter 27 . 9/18/2013
I know this story's review time has kinda I just read it now so me reviewing it now is justified!
About you questions...Well the first obe I must say Aaron and Erik,(if there's any dubious 'relationship' involved!What can I say...I'm a fangirl to my very core and bones and support any two individuals if they have two dicks to offer and pass the 'You Have To Be This Hot' line!) and Skyler!( he had his
moments!)and I would've added Eph but he's too much of a cock tease and too annoying...Oh!And Gringo!I mean how much of an awesome ex is he!I asked a bunch of my friends if they'll do anything like all said I had ti pay the price...*mutters angrily*
2)I...well you can't expect me to remember everything right?I guess the part where Sky licked Ace's Result paper!Oh and the time they were talking about that one time Sky didn't do the laundry so Malard was walking around naked!Oh!And joke about the Shoe and the crew being toes!
3)I really REALLY liked the scene where Eph surprised Myth and Chase and started kissing him in the middle of the alley and Myth's conversation with Tyler!I was like 'awwwww' yeah I'm sappy like that.
4)I...think would've liked to read more about White Coats maybe?Or Sky finding out Eph's real secret?I dunno...
5)I would say that time Eph woke up besides Chase that first time after their supposedly-and I'm quoting with my fingers- "One Night Stand".Why you ask?Because it was early on the store and it got my hopes up.I mean the way Eph was acting like a predator jumping on his pray...and then woosh!Nothing!He has just got up and left!The mofo!(seriously I kept saying Chase shoud dump the fucker's ass like a cold,meshed,potato!He kept cock blocking him!) And I kept on reading,' this should finally be the time',but nothing!Not until,what?,chapter 25!I mean seriously!And even then,it was so vague it barely got a K rating in my book!27 chapter of charged sexual tension and just one tiny,tinsy,vague sex scene?hmpf...*stomping foot angrily then going to sulk in a corner*
6)I would have,but my creative bone said it's going on vacation to Paris or Greece or it's not getting paid enough for the shit I put it through...I said I over pay it compared to most of the other creative bones but it went on strike and now it's giving me the silent yeah...I can't come up with a poem for the life of me...
7)Well,I did it on 5!Now...do I need to sign somewhere?
they were talking about
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 27 . 6/11/2013
I liked it :) I'd like to know what the Elrad project is and such, because there are a lot of worldly loose ends that you didn't tie up? Such as how the Whites and Blacks came back together and discovered they were brothers, the Elrad Project, things like that. But obviously they are not really this story, just this world.
Also, I did notice that Chase's anger seemed to completely disAppear by about the fourth chapter? and considering how angry he was before...it doesn't make much sense. I mean, he did start the meditation but, again, I think there should have been more of a transition.
That said, I liked how chase and eph both had the same sense of humor. My favourite scene would probably be one of the ones where Eph is mostly asleep, because he's really cute like that.
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 26 . 6/11/2013
What a bitch. I don't like her. But I suppose that's not really the point, is it?
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 23 . 6/11/2013
Now that I think of it, Ace seemed a bit too comfortable in being taken by the leader of the slave trade, considering how he was when they first met him and he was scared of even the thought... perhaps he's gotten over it but it might be better to display a progression? It probably doesn't matter that much because I only just thought about it, but *shrug*
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 18 . 6/11/2013
penny dropped. hahahaha. I like that.
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 4 . 6/10/2013
I find the "old-earth" things interesting, like how you casually slipped in that tomato seeds are hard to find and very expensive, and eggs are uncommon. I think it helps to build the world with those casual reminders. Additionally, wondering what the difference is between White and Black, because insofar as I've been able to determine from your description, they seem to do the same job, no? but I assume they are bitter rivals or something.
| taryn chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
I thouroughly enjoyed this, read it all in one go! :)
| Lila chapter 27 . 1/7/2013
I loved this story! Will there be a sequel?
| q chapter 14 . 10/20/2012
I admit, I lost patience at chapter 14 and won't be moving forward with this, but it's not because it's a bad story nor is it because you're a bad writer (because you're fine). The problem is you tell more than you show, you go into too much detail about who's feeling what and why and it becomes so repitive and unnecessary it kills the flow and the thrill of the "now". You also focus too much on fluffy feelings and conversations that I can't take the characters seriously. I have no doubt that with editing this can be a fantastic story because it has all the right elements, it just needs a shift in the narrative style and a lot less googley eyes between the main characters. Thanks for sharing, at any rate, and keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your work a few years down the line.
| Madam Vendetta chapter 1 . 11/16/2011
Hello there. I thought I was Basic-bookworm but I'm not. Sorry for the inconvenience.
| Basic-bookworm chapter 27 . 11/16/2011
1) Favorite character (and why if you have why). Um... I all-most of them... they're... good... sort of... What I mean to say is I like that they have different specific traits. Some author's can't make separate character's properly, leaving them to all be very similar.
Though you also have a tendency to make all of the character's... likeable, one of the best parts of a story is the not-particularly-nice good main character.
2) Favorite joke/pun (and why if you have a why). Um... I think I liked the walking water one as well, though I do adore the chapter title's, they're cleverly named.
3) Favorite scene/chapter (and why if you have a why). I liked... /blush/ um... /looks at feet/ the uh... mind meld scene... because I thought it was very well written... umm... not like THAT it's just... the descriptions... damn I'm writing myself further into the hole aren't I?
4) Biggest problem/point of confusion. Uh... I don't understand what that character which name started with a 'The' had another word than ended with a 'Project' was. (if you answer my question than my thing on this site's the same, I just can't be bothered loging in)
5) Least favorite scene/chapter (and why if you have a why). Um... I don't... know...
6) This is where you sing my praises. I am just amazed at the universe you created here, with a history and a complicated present, with a whole government that I assume you just made up. If this were a published book, it's the sort of thing that just BEG'S for fan fiction to be wrote about it.
7) And then you get to screech insults. I think it ended too quickly. Though it was very long, I think it still had a few loose ends. I also think that you're completely psycho/cruel to have created this wonderful universe with so much to explore and only wrote one book-length text for it.
I'm not sure that last bit was insulting enough.
| PrinceClaire chapter 27 . 10/30/2011
Whew... it's finally time to do the review. I stumbled across this story yesterday during one of my daily slash/yaoi/gay fiction hunts and was up until 3am, at which point my eyes were screaming at me to stop staring at tiny computer text and get the hell to bed, completely enthralled with your writing.
1) Favorite character: Starting off with a toughie, I see! Well you had me hooked in the first chapter with Tyler/Ace. I always enjoy a story with children in it, especially if another character takes on a parental or big brother/sister role with them (I like to think Eph wouldn't mind being seen as a big brother but Chase might scoff :P). Also, the Hero brothers, Aaron and Erick. There were only a couple mentions of them and the only scene I can really recall at the moment is the recording of them on the MUGshow in chapter 15, so I'm not sure I can really call them favorite characters, but something about them definitely made me curious. And Myth. His odd mixture of maturity, playfulness, hope, and caution made him seem more 'fleshed out' than other side characters and I personally think humility is overrated. This section should have been titled: "Please explain, in excruciating detail, your reasons for liking each and every side character."
2) Favorite joke/pun: I snickered at the bit about Eph hanging the moon but not the stars. And the 'whore-er stories' reminds me of a running joke with my friends involving a risque Halloween costume and the word horrible.
3) Favorite scene/chapter: I liked the scenes involving Chase and Eph's minds because I enjoy the idea of the mind being a location where all thoughts, memories, dreams and feelings are stored and that each person's mind location is unique. Also, the chapter where Ace was reading his history lesson, because lore is like porn for me. Well, almost.
4) Biggest problem/point of confusion: IT'S OVER D: ...ahem. Actually my biggest 'problem' is also one of the reasons I loved your story so much. Your side characters and worlds have tales and pasts beyond the chapters of this story and that's what made them so real and captivating to me and other readers. However, it also makes me insanely curious about them. For example: Just what/who is the Elrad Project? What's the story behind the Hero brothers? Whatever became of Chase's anger and what was the thing that Eph saw the moment before it disappeared in chapter 7? What other things can Beta's do and what laws are there in place (if any) restricting these abilities from being used on others? What's the deal with orchids? There are about a hundred others but in order to ever be satisfied I'm afraid I would have to chain you to a desk and have you write until we're both old and grey.
5) Least favorite scene/chapter: I can't think of any. No, really! I can easily say I enjoy the chapters with Chase and Eph together, preferably being smartasses, but there wasn't really anything I can think of that I didn't like. And scenes with Fraiser made me roll my eyes, but only because I get unreasonably protective of main characters when I feel like another character is trying to mess with their relationship. He did redeem himself in the last couple scenes he was in and I appreciated that he wasn't just another spoiled rich youth who was willing to accept his father's views and allow others to pay for his lifestyle, but was willing to stand up for what he believed to be right and cast aside that lifestyle, if needed.
6) This is where you sing my praises: It's been many a moon since I enjoyed a story that was as rich in both romance and plot as this one is. Then to find out that you write slashed fairy tales! Gay versions of cliched love stories with enough sweetness to rot my teeth and guaranteed (well... mostly) happy endings? YES PLEASE! You are truly the Queen to my Prince and I gladly take an oath of fealty to your crown. I also made an account here just to write this review. I usually leave them with just my name, but this will make it easier for when I need to reread this story, just in case your profile disappears from my favorites folder for some reason.
7) And then you get to screech insults. Or anything else constructive (or not) that you might want to add: There was the occasional incorrect word use, misspelling, and grammar mistakes, but it certainly wasn't enough to detract from the story and after reading countless stories online I count my blessings if an author sees vowels are mandatory components of a word, instead of optional. I did feel that the last couple chapters were a bit rushed. Starting from when the group goes to the farm to speak to slaves from off-world, everything seemed to move quickly towards to end with no obstacles or plot turns and the trial, and subsequent triumph over the IPA, were entirely skipped over. I understand that those events would be slow after the rescue of Ace and a tidy sum up might seem a good way to avoid taking the risk of becoming dry or boring (not that I think you could have!) but it did seem like there was something missing.
Well! That must be the longest review I've written in quite some time, if not ever! But you truly earned it and I hope to leave many more reviews (maybe not as long) in the future as I dive into your other stories (Fairy tales, here I come!). After the required stalking attempts once I finished this story and decided I absolutely needed to read more of your work, I discovered you were rewriting this story. I did skim a chapter and could easily tell your writing has only improved. My curiosity is practically humming but, forgive me, I'm going to have to resist. If a 'WIP' story catches my eye I will occasionally read it, but I try to avoid them and, even knowing the story this time, I'm reluctant to start the rewritten version without knowing if/when it might be finished. I'm sorry!
I look forward to many more enjoyable hours curled up in fuzzy blankets with your wonderful stories. That is, after I finally get some sleep. It's 9am and I've yet to sleep, a fact that shows in the number of commas in this review (the sleepier I get, the more I use them, even when I shouldn't!).
...umm... maybe one more story.