|Reviews for Uncle Charlie|
| ravenurse chapter 22 . 3/20/2008
WOW! That was excellent! I started reading at work yesterday, and could not wait to get back and finish it today! Very well written, and I loved how you went from Jamie at the start of the chapter and then added Charlie's thoughts at the end. It was great!
| stefanny chapter 22 . 6/9/2007
what a good story.. i read it all while i was at work..
i love a happy ending. ~grin~
| Poor Skeleton chapter 22 . 1/22/2007
huzzah! i finally finished reading the whole thing! i really wasn't expecting to read the whole thing, but the story's originality intrigued me and i had to keep reading, so now that i'm finished, i'll give my view of the story as a whole.
first of all, i simply cannot believe that this story doesn't have any reviews! why is it that most of the best, most creative stories go completely unnoticed on this site? it's quite unfair.
something i loved: charlie's characterization. you did him very very well. i love when a story's told from a madman's perspective. makes you guess at things, how real they are and how "normal" people are perceiving them. i also like how you jumped between the perspectives of jamie and charlie, so you never get a completely objective, rational account of something. instead you have a boy's and a mentally unstable man's opinion, bouncing back and forth and telling a story i've never heard before. that was pretty lovely.
something i think you could have fine tuned, i suppose, is jamie's voice. he's-what? fourteen, i think-and for the most part he tells the story like a fourteen-year-old would. but other times, he adds an insight or a piece of vocabulary fourteeners wouldn't normally use. is he telling this retrospectively? because that could be why. if he is, then disregard my babble.
the plot was pretty stable, too, which was great. in between chunks of reading, when i was forced to go about my life, i would ponder what would happen next, and think a lot about charlie. you really got him down, made him into a living character. jamie was almost there, but not quite. charlie captured my attention because he had fears and doubts and torn feelings and a history. he was wonderful.
but back to my point, the plot. it was all great until the last couple of chapters, where i either read the thing too fast in my eagerness to reach the finale, or just lost the train of the thing. what i mean to say is, a lot of things were done seemingly without reason. why does jamie start playing the violin when they're at bob's? why aren't they looking for 'her'? why does 'she' go for jamie after letting charlie go? it took some of the reality from the stark horror of the rest of the tale, but i also think it's something that can be easily remedied. just a few explanations needed there.
man...this was just such a good story. still can't believe i'm the first reviewer. i'm trying to think why this wasn't looked at, and i can't find a reason other than the reason i almost didn't look at it: the title. i know this might be me, but the word 'uncle' has some unsavory connotations to me. creepy "fun uncle"s and the like, you know. it's not a bad word for the title, because i know what the story's about, but perhaps a different wording would make these fictionpress drones want to click on it. something like "The Ruin (and/or) Rescue of Charlie Lynch" or something like that. i don't know.
well, those are my comments and advice. excellent job. i commend you on actually finishing a story (something i still have to do...) and making it one of quality. happy writing,