Reviews for Mafias are Good at Keeping Secrets
charlene171990 chapter 22 . 6/7
Awwh! YAY!
Thanks for writing this. :)
charlene171990 chapter 21 . 6/7
Well I soo never expected her parents to NOT be her parents.
That's, uh, interesting. Goes to show anything can happen and fate works in weird ways.
charlene171990 chapter 20 . 6/7
You're clever...
charlene171990 chapter 19 . 6/7
Crap crap crap!
That's not good!
charlene171990 chapter 18 . 6/7
Great, so they're all caring and Seth's a piece of shit. Good to know. Ugg _
charlene171990 chapter 17 . 6/7
charlene171990 chapter 15 . 6/7
Cliff hanger!
charlene171990 chapter 8 . 6/7
I like the way you ended the chapter saying by saying that he "picked up the cards that had been dealt to him and continued with the game."
I see what you did there and I love it. Good word play. :D
charlene171990 chapter 6 . 6/7
charlene171990 chapter 3 . 6/7
It's a pillow for God sakes. Andrew made it sound like she chucked a brick at his face. Lol
thejadem chapter 22 . 3/9
so cheesy. I find it too be to cheesy in fact. It was too bad though. I liked the idea. I just felt like it was too predictable.
AW chapter 1 . 6/30/2014
Ooh! Why did you have to do that! I personally cannot stand when authors begin their story in first person describing their characters. For instance, I read one the other day- "Hi, my name is Aila Green. I have medium length jet black hair and green eyes. I am 5"3 and am very skinny. I weigh 102 lbs. I am not anorexic, though I am very skinny. I have big curves, too." To be honest, you did the same thing- only you elaborated basically all of that. I do not understand why you added numbers. Why was there a need to add that she's 5"4 and 109 lbs? It literally has nothing to do with the story. It would be more tolerable if it weren't in first person and a characterless narrator describe her in the beginning. You also did this when she got kidnapped. If someone was getting kidnapped, one wouldn't notice the color of his eyes or how hot he is or if he's 6"2. Any reasonable person would run and not pay attention to all those details. A good writer can balance character development and the amount of discription the put in that story. You were too descriptive- to the point where it was not necessary. And almost none of your characters matured of developed. Your story definitely suffers because of this.

Also, your plot is amateur-ish. I am disappointed.
nizza chapter 22 . 5/13/2014
It was a great tale...loved it
EmeraldHope chapter 7 . 3/20/2014
I almost cried! That is really hard to make me cry while reading. I Didn't even cry when Dumbledor died! (Sorry If I spoiled any thing) I was still really ad though.
killerqueen123 chapter 16 . 2/27/2014
One - I'm ridiculously in love with this story. Two I wish someone wasn't evil! It can't be the twins and it sooo can't be Andrew or i'll die and I don't think it's Jett. So it's either Mason or Seth? Which is sad because Mason sounds really awesome. And I don't know about Seth.
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