|Reviews for Mafias are Good at Keeping Secrets|
| ChocolateChipPancakes1 chapter 16 . 11/19
I just realized that this is a reverse harem.
| ChocolateChipPancakes1 chapter 15 . 11/19
I think Emma's got a BAD case of Stockholm Syndrome. Haha, anyway I love your story and I just wanted to let you know. I've been reading it for a while, but haven't really commented at all. I thought I'd give my support though, through a comment. Great story you have here, I'll definitely be checking out some of your other stories after this one.
| charlene171990 chapter 22 . 6/7
Thanks for writing this. :)
| charlene171990 chapter 21 . 6/7
Well I soo never expected her parents to NOT be her parents.
That's, uh, interesting. Goes to show anything can happen and fate works in weird ways.
| charlene171990 chapter 20 . 6/7
FUCK IT WASN'T SETH!
FUCK, MASON! UGH! UGH! UGH!
| charlene171990 chapter 19 . 6/7
Crap crap crap!
That's not good!
| charlene171990 chapter 18 . 6/7
Great, so they're all caring and Seth's a piece of shit. Good to know. Ugg _
| charlene171990 chapter 17 . 6/7
I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! GAH!
| charlene171990 chapter 15 . 6/7
| charlene171990 chapter 8 . 6/7
I like the way you ended the chapter saying by saying that he "picked up the cards that had been dealt to him and continued with the game."
I see what you did there and I love it. Good word play. :D
| charlene171990 chapter 6 . 6/7
DAMN YOU AND THE CLIFFHANGER!
| charlene171990 chapter 3 . 6/7
It's a pillow for God sakes. Andrew made it sound like she chucked a brick at his face. Lol
| thejadem chapter 22 . 3/9
so cheesy. I find it too be to cheesy in fact. It was too bad though. I liked the idea. I just felt like it was too predictable.
| AW chapter 1 . 6/30/2014
Ooh! Why did you have to do that! I personally cannot stand when authors begin their story in first person describing their characters. For instance, I read one the other day- "Hi, my name is Aila Green. I have medium length jet black hair and green eyes. I am 5"3 and am very skinny. I weigh 102 lbs. I am not anorexic, though I am very skinny. I have big curves, too." To be honest, you did the same thing- only you elaborated basically all of that. I do not understand why you added numbers. Why was there a need to add that she's 5"4 and 109 lbs? It literally has nothing to do with the story. It would be more tolerable if it weren't in first person and a characterless narrator describe her in the beginning. You also did this when she got kidnapped. If someone was getting kidnapped, one wouldn't notice the color of his eyes or how hot he is or if he's 6"2. Any reasonable person would run and not pay attention to all those details. A good writer can balance character development and the amount of discription the put in that story. You were too descriptive- to the point where it was not necessary. And almost none of your characters matured of developed. Your story definitely suffers because of this.
Also, your plot is amateur-ish. I am disappointed.
| nizza chapter 22 . 5/13/2014
It was a great tale...loved it