|Reviews for The Magic Pen|
| Strelitzian chapter 1 . 4/21/2008
Hey I like this. It has a kind of fairy tale quality to it, because of the first few lines about the bird, and it's got a really good rhythm to it as well. I like the idea the reference to a the "tiny" girl and the "simple mind" because, to me, it kind of conveys that the little guy is just as important, you know? Lovely.
| Sexy Vampirechick chapter 1 . 4/18/2008
This was an entertaining kept me reading till the nice.
The only problem was that there was a few lines that sounded a bit forced 'cause you wanted it to rhyme,but all in all it was very nice.
| Nemonus chapter 1 . 1/5/2007
AW! It's so cute and sappy and metafictiony...:D :D The one gave me the warm fuzzy feeling, Jesse old friend. I don't know truly what the lesson is in it, but that's ok cause it reminds me of Li. :) Heh...
Generally your rhythm is good. The words are fairy-tale-y, simple, and that's fine here. Sometimes the Dr. Suess-type rhythm is funny-"The pen danced in loops, lines, and curves - quite a lot," lol. And now that I think of it, the line after that is very cool. Deep.
The second person POV seems a little misplaced-the guy of her dreams is the reader? I don't think you mean that. If you do, develop it more. Here, third person could really concrete it better.
| RedBerries chapter 1 . 1/4/2007
Aw this is one of the cutest poems/story that I think you've ever written! It seems that the way you write always reflects whats happening in my own love life...which is kinda wierd sometimes! Although I HAVE to ask - did you write it for a particular person?
| thisaccountisforfun chapter 1 . 12/19/2006
OMG OMG OMG
the poem is SO nice
i LOVED reading every bit of it
that little girl is so cute
and smart x)
omg, i love this!
| Shadow Whirlwind chapter 1 . 12/19/2006
It's absolutely beautiful. I loved it!