|Reviews for Bloodless|
| musiclover16 chapter 1 . 4/29/2011
that is really cool! i love the oxymoron "a painfully painless killing"! the way you worded it is absolutely amazing! great job!
| thefaultinourpatronus chapter 1 . 2/16/2011
Bit melodramatic? But really nice poem all the same. I especially liked how you wrote ' .can' .' all in different lines. Gave a really nice feel to the end of the poem. Nice job!
| Halfbloodlycan chapter 1 . 6/19/2009
Depressing, but I like it. The style and the use of words. Hopefully what I'm saying doesn't sound like complete gibberish. Keep writing.
| MockingJuliet chapter 1 . 5/18/2009
very very sad...but i loved it! "now matter how hard you try" for some reason that has stuch in my head. :) keep writing!
| JoJo619 chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
That was deep. Again, I love the way you let your words flow.
| Living.My.Life.My.Way chapter 1 . 3/18/2007
| Princess-anna57 chapter 1 . 1/27/2007
Good work. I like it. Keep writing.
| commemorativemisery chapter 1 . 1/22/2007
this is really good! i love your writing style! its sad, but hey i can relate to it lol
| I.O.K.O chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
If only it were.
| Affinity chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
Ooh I like this ) Just my style..
| Professional Dreamer chapter 1 . 1/10/2007
'a restless rest'
| polka dots and addictions chapter 1 . 1/7/2007
restless rest...powerful description there
| Silhouetted-Demise chapter 1 . 1/4/2007
god this is creppy! good job!
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 12/30/2006
Marvelous self-examination, as it relates to both the individual and the broader "you" that provides the many relatable constructs. I also like the subtle contradictions. Good work.
| S.C.R.E.A.M.I.N.G chapter 1 . 12/30/2006
Hey, this was pretty good, I especially liked the part of the second to last line painfully painless killing. It stood out for me and I have a feeling that this line will stick with me for a while, which means that it was great.
My only problem with all of this is the grammar and spelling mistakes, so I'll list them all.
a bloodless suicide- I would think that a would be capitalized, but if you're doing the whole lowercase thing for effect, than that's okay too.
is dieing- it should be is dying.
A Bloodless Suicide- again, I think it'd look better if only the a was capitalized, but if it's for effect, then I guess it's okay.
an painfully painless killing- either a or and, not an.
Also, I might think that some more of the first letters should be capitalized.
But overall, when overlooking the mistakes, this was a great piece. I really really liked the things like restless rest and painfully painless, and the repetition of words in different lines. That really adds to it, without some of those things this would be plain and almost boring.
And I liked the bloodless suicide idea, that stood out for me too.
Anyway, if you fixed up your mistakes, then this would be a great piece. I hope this helped.
Keep writing, kay?