|Reviews for she tears herself to shreds for her words|
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/5/2009
that was an incredible piece, i loved it. there were lines that just took my breath away, and i would tell you all of them but then i'd just repeat your entire poem.
honestly, i thought it was beautiful.
i'd love to read more of your stuff!
I would love honest suggestions/feedback on my work on fictionpress. Opinions from a writer like you would be very helpful and I would appreciate it!
| S.C.R.E.A.M.I.N.G chapter 1 . 1/2/2007
And this review will be long, because I'm going to point out all of my favorite lines, which is basically the whole entire poem.
First of all:
and the pages that she writes these words on
give her paper cuts on ink stained fingers
when her razor sharp thoughts
lash out at her from the lined pages
That was so original and it just took my breath away. I loved the imagery, and it was just... wow. That was my favorite part, right there.
and she writes the type of poetry
that is never really beautiful
just raw and painful and real
till she sugarcoats it with
pretty words and clever rhymes
The ending of that stanza was just... wow. You took the simple happy adjectives and made them seem bitter and fake. And all of the descriptions like sugarcoat and raw and painful and real- just WOW. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Then, with this part following:
like the chipped paint covering all
the heartbroken angry graffiti
tattooed in sharpie on every bathroom stall
from the broken glamour girls of Manhattan
to the small town girls with shattered vodka dreams
Everything there was so freaking a.m.a.z.i.n.g. All of the describing words were brilliant again- they all worked together to flow so that the person reading it can feel all of it. Everything you used just added to this part until it seems like it's going to explode from the full emotion of it all, which was how the entire thing was. Shattered vodka dreams- I don't think I've ever read anything like that before.
and read all the original, the never been seen before
quotes and poems and icons they can get their
nail polished oversize ring covered hands on
they will never understand a word until
The end periods worked very well for the emotion portrayed, and the italics on the never added to the emotion also, great job on this part too. The only thing that I would add would be a but before the they will never understand a word until... because without it the part seems like a run-on and it's hard to understand.
they never stop to ask what’s wrong
what’s going in her life to make her scream
out, bleed out these words onto paper
(“oh, she’s just making up riddles and mixing them
with lies. all she wants is attention”
-but honey these words aren’t as deep as you
want to pretend they are, if you don’t understand
then she never wanted you to.)
That was gorgeous. The bleed out those words onto paper- like I've said many times, you are AWESOME at the describing words. You never overdo it, but you don't have too little so that it seems fake either. You have the ones that burst out and are WONDERFUL. The part in the parentheses was just so good too, the riddles mixing with lies part was GREAT, as was the if you don't understand
then she never wanted you to.
she never claims to be original, she never aims
for her words to be heartbreaking, groundbreaking
and she never said she wasn’t a hypocrite
she’s finally telling the truth for once,
but you aren’t listening
( ’ )
As much as I reread that, it always hits me hard. The mix of the two breakings (heartbreaking, groundbreaking) was so perfect, and claim and aim were working together to add to this piece of art. She never said she wasn't a hypocrite- I loved that one too. And the she's finally telling the truth for once- almost made me cry. Repeated ' .- *shakes head in pure disbelief*
This entire thing was completely, totally, without a doubt, perfect. It was so good that you left me speechless for a full ten minutes after I read it. And even this review took an extremely long time to write, because I wasn't sure how to word all of my feelings. This was just... incredible.
I'm going to check out all of your other work now. But this just took my breath away. Literally and figuratively.
I LOVED it.
| dress her up in fairytales chapter 1 . 12/24/2006
first off, i love the title and your pen name, beautiful.
and this piece ... i LOVE it.
"and she writes the type of poetry/that is never really beautiful/just raw and painful and real"
and don't you hate it when you get people that are like, "OMG WHAT ANGST TRASH THIS IS!" gosh.
and personally, i love fall out boy.
"they will never understand a word until/they .themselves"
too true. i've come to realize that people who say, "i understand" or "i know how you feel" are such liars.
this is definitely going on my favs.