Reviews for Hero Complex
derisive snort chapter 1 . 12/28/2006
This is really interesting. I think it's be easier to read if you soaced it iut more. Ohysically I mean, more paragraph breaks iguess. I like the story though. do you plan to continue?
jct7 chapter 1 . 12/26/2006
Nice work!

The first few lines of the story seem to establish

a morose, yet artistic tone. It paints a picture

like the beginning of a movie where the scene is

established through vivid shots of the street and

neighborhood in which the story takes place.

Word choice was incredibly creative. I'm in Honors English

and read complicated works somewhat often and I

learned some new vocabulary-"iridescence"-the visual

property of something having a white milky brightness.

My only suggestion is to use semicolons and colons sometimes

as opposed to having longer sentences. Many teachers at my school

are very keen on brevity.

This chapter sounds like its going to ‘set the scene’ for a wonderful novel.