Reviews for Dream Tales: Fugitive |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow, that was a fantastic beginning. I love it already. It seems like a promising sci-fi that could keep me interested with a good plot and decent writing. Which is saying a lot, on the Internet, that this is decent. A suggestion: I think you should avoid the all caps. It looks a bit cheesy. Italics work well. Just a personal peeve though, it's nothing personal. And I think it can be overlooked, because your writing is pretty good. Especially in the first ten paragraphs, when you were describing her thought process. I like how she is a bit animalistic (if that's a word) but intelligent. I don't have time for chapter two right now, but I will definitely be back. This is going on alerts. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Shimmering? Guards couldn't see it? Not bright enough? Magic or nanites? But then I've just read a bunch about Clarkes law...any significantly advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic...there's a few coralaries including any significantly advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology... -M |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well written. Perhaps you could better detail any turmoil the char feals over becoming aware of her nature...As is I got the image of a tail waggin' rottweiler bringing the shredded remains of something small and furry to her master getting a pat on the head..and then some sadness as she realized she's a killer...But then I tend to fill in betwen lines... Makes me want to do the back story on one of my own chars... -Mark |