|Reviews for otherfuture|
| Amy B. R. Mead chapter 1 . 1/13/2013
I'm generally not a fan of second person, but you made me love it. This is one of my favorite stories that I've found on fictionpress so far. It's very powerful and I love the flow of your words and the hint of a happy ending.
| english summer rain chapter 1 . 7/4/2008
you told the story really really well. i'm not really good at reviews, i normally just keep to myself, but this just demanded one. it kept me guessing till the end, and the last sentence is just purely amazing. akj;oadf! i can't word what i'm feeling! haha.
oh and "lazily watching the drunk drivers in the street below, headlights like shooting stars." awesome simile by the way.
i don't favourite, but i bookmark, and this is definitely getting bookmarked :)
| a certain slant of light chapter 1 . 2/15/2008
.God. I hate to say (er... type) but it's an OMG moment. This is powerful and beautiful and everything in between. I love your descriptions.
| austere avenue chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
You're right, it is odd. But that's what makes it so neat.
I love how you described the scenery and the situation.
| danielleb3ar chapter 1 . 7/29/2007
i love it! "it is not nothing".. i love that line!i wish i have that point of view..having no regrets...
| AuraBorealis chapter 1 . 7/24/2007
good story. this is very different then the usal that are on fiction press.
| ecwix chapter 1 . 5/21/2007
A few notes:
-"Her perfume has probably accumulated in your blood by now, you think distantly."
This sentence is sorta awkward... like "Yoda-talk". Heh, I fall into this sort of thing all the time myself...
-"You'd been having break downs ever since your brain started working properly"
I think "breakdowns" is just one word.
-"she caught you."
Forgot to capitalize. :p
-"You wish you could talk like that, the words so smoothe and interesting sounding."
You added an "e" at the end of "smooth".
-"She stayed out all night, and you aren't sure if you should be afraid that she's be angry"
"she's be angry"? Do you mean "she'[d] be angry"?
Anyways, it's not that often one finds a story in second-person. Personally, I've tried writing things in second person as well, but they haven't really turned out very well... yet. I think part of the excitement in writing in 2nd person is just that it's... unique... exhilarating... different...
Anyways, the story is pretty good, moving. I did, however, feel as though some of the constant tense shifting can lead to some confusion.
Overall, I enjoyed it... good job! :)
| Noihseret chapter 1 . 1/12/2007
what an amazing story. I loved it! I liked how you referred to the main character as "you". that was clever and really made me feel a part of it (even though I think I was asked for a kiss by another girl... lol) will you continue on with this? I got a feeling that you won't.