|Reviews for If I|
| the-lovely-anomaly chapter 1 . 6/21/2012
Punchy and captivating. I like it.
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
Wow, those last two lines come out of nowhere. I was reading along, visualizing this woman holding out her arms as if she's crucified, when suddenly- BOOM (or BOING!) we're tonguing a guy's erection.
I don't even know what to think of this poem. Is it blasphemous? Is it shocking just to be shocking? Is it a feminist type of thing? I honestly have no idea. All I can think about is this chick giving this guy a blowjob while she's doing the whole Jesus/Jim Morrison pose. My mind is still reeling.
Since it says "LIKE the man's erection," I want to be like, wait . . . A guy's penis doesn't look like a crucifixion. At least, mine certainly doesn't. Does the guy have wings growing out of his shaft or something? Two arms? Or is he just trying to pull off a weird new haircut with his pubes?
I don't even know if the poem's purpose is religious (I don't think it is) or feminist (it seems degrading of the woman instead of empowering, unless I'm just reading it wrong, which is quite possible), or something else entirely. I'm going with the latter.
After this I can't help but picture Jesus with a dick in his mouth. Except Jesus has breasts all of a sudden. It's a bizarre image to have, LOL, and it's all because of you, Juliet! What have you done to mind! I feel violated. , if you will. (And I notice you don't have your profanity filter turned off, which you really should do, so I can cuss freely and it won't show up as two astericks.)
I like Monochrome_Lovers' interpretation of the symbolism, how she views the penis as a nail, because I saw something similar when I read it, too. This is a violent, angry blowjob.
God, I keep trying to picture the actual image of the woman in this pose while giving a blowjob, and the only way I can see it happening is if she's lying on her back and he's basically kneeling on her face. The image seems degrading to the woman, yet she's in our Lord's pose. I don't know how to read that "womanly crucifixion." I mean, our society usually interprets it as a holy image nowadays, a sacred image- Yet it's of a dude being CRUCIFIED. He's dying a slow, agonizing death . . . Which version relates to the girl in the poem? I think it's the former, but who knows.
Any why do I think I'm reading everything too literally, anyway? I guess I can't help it. I think like a novelist/storyteller, not a poet.
Anyways, write on, you dirty little thing.
| like a lover chapter 1 . 3/31/2007
| shiniwa chapter 1 . 3/13/2007
It's been a while.
It's so economic. Compact in its sexuality and feminism. I love it.
| tour d'ivoire chapter 1 . 3/2/2007
Ultimately jarring in its imagery. It's intense. Can't wait for more. :)
| Her Wishing Well chapter 1 . 2/27/2007
| Wylloa chapter 1 . 2/25/2007
Edgy and Vulgar, but somehow it makes perfect sense. A morbid beauty.
| not sure yet chapter 1 . 2/24/2007
o my, that ending came quite suddenly, i dig it though and very much so the womanly crucifixion image, twas pretty, anywayz, nicely done
| Midnight In Eden chapter 1 . 2/19/2007
I love this with the exception of your second line. The "and" is jarring, perhaps look at taking it out and putting the verb into action ie: holding my legs out tight next to each other.
Just an idea.
Otherwise, your climax is perfect (no pun intended).
| TheAngelofhope chapter 1 . 2/17/2007
| Drowned-Rat chapter 1 . 2/12/2007
Wow. The sudden twist of imagery caught me way off guard...amazingly beautiful and disturbing at same time..._
| Jet chapter 1 . 2/9/2007
oh my, if i may say i,
delight to the reading eye
| billmovementforever chapter 1 . 2/8/2007
This is more of a review of your work as a whole instead of this poem exclusively (it's very good, by the by). If this site has a message system, I wasn't able to figure it out.
You reviewed one of my poems a few years back, so I thought I would pass the time and read your work. There is quite a lot so I didn't read it all.I did, however, read enough to know that you're an amazing talent and discover your poems inspire me to write somethin' fierce (I had to throw some southern twang in somewhere...).
Keep on keepin' on, and I'll see you in the funny papers.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 2/7/2007
That is incredible. I don't know why I don't think of these sorts of things. Just the amount of womanly pride in this is insane. I love every aspect of it. Favorite, definitely. Keep writing! :)
| forgottenlife chapter 1 . 2/5/2007
i love how it just flows...