|Reviews for The Mirror|
| IdeasInTheAir chapter 1 . 7/10/2007
I really like this. I especially like how it's the mirror. The last two lines are my favourite, though. Doubly favourite:
'The glass shatters, and you’re gone.'
And you just leave it like that. A lot of people would've messed the whole thing up by adding something more, but you just left it. And it's perfect. Also, it doesn't seem to reflect any personnel tragedy, or of someone you know. The person seems really distant, a touch I love.
It's terribly excellent. This is going into my favourites.
| youdriveillride chapter 1 . 4/15/2007
your fault.” You say.
your fault," you say. Rules of dialogue-in cases like that, unless it's done for stylistic purposes, a comma and a lowercase letter.
Now that's a stylistic preference again-a comma works there, but you might do a little experimenting with other punctuation to see if one suits better.
shut up.” I say.
shut up," I say.
I like the next sentence a lot. Very nice.
to them.” You say
to them," you say
notices you; you never have to go through, through this.
This confuses me a bit. Is the narrator stuttering? If he's stuttering, you might want to replace the comma with a dash. If he's not stuttering and it's a typo, there you go. XD
because, it’s not.
Comma's not necessary and feels a little awkward.
up.” I scream
This can be viewed in one of two ways-an error in punctuation or rhetorical effect. If you want it to be two very separate, clearly-defined phrases, you should leave it as is. Otherwise (/technically/ speaking) the period would be replaced with a comma.
I like the ending very much. I like the piece, actually, as a whole. It's well-written and catches readers' attention right off the bat. Nice job.
| A Face Worth Remembering chapter 1 . 1/15/2007
Hm... expected, but still not quite what I thought. I like it!
| ChildeOfChaos chapter 1 . 1/8/2007
How sad, but still a really good piece. I'd like to know whats going on in this narrator's life and at the same time it works great without knowing because then you can relate this to your own life. Great work!
| CrazyTurtles chapter 1 . 1/4/2007
I love it! Its so good! Would you mind if I read it to my writting class? Of course I won't if you don't want me to, but it's really good. I won't tell where i got it if you don't want. Well let me know? Anyway, great poem!
| D L Dzioba chapter 1 . 12/31/2006
This certianly has potential. I'd love to know more about the narrator's situation.
| Rowan chapter 1 . 12/28/2006
I loved it. It's that simple.
| Haley Jo chapter 1 . 12/28/2006
Simple, moving and very well illustrated in just one scene. The last two lines kept me thinking. *adds to favourites*
| kayla chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
oh my! that is so moving... i wish i could write something like that! you have some talent! i love the way you said at the end that it was really just you and you didnt give it away in the beginning of the story. i would talk to your reflection a little more though. otherwise, its wonderful and every girl feels that way (you captured the feeling beautifully).
| Cole Lane chapter 1 . 12/26/2006
I really liked this. Seriously moving. You have quite the talent there, chickie!
| Ashelin chapter 1 . 12/26/2006
This is really sad. I love how it was you all the long though. Haha, be careful though, some people say talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity. I've perfected the second sign...answering back. Lol. Great job though. Oh yeah, and I'm not getting any emails either. It is really bugging me actually, I don't know when I get reviews. But, w/e fictionpress will figure it out eventually...i hope. Great job again, and God bless.