|Reviews for Dark or Light|
| ChildeOfChaos chapter 1 . 1/9/2007
Hmm, I like this a lot though it would be easier to read if the word order was switched in some places. It makes you think though, so grammer errors can be overlooked (by me at least :D)
| beatrice is hot chapter 1 . 1/5/2007
First things first: please proofread your author bio; there's many a grammatical error there that doens't give a first good impression of you as a writer.
Anyway, this poem. We'll start with the basics, grammar and spelling:
Line 1: you used that semicolon incorrectly; "dark" is by no standard an independent clause. Semicolons separate two independent clauses. Without two independent clauses, there can be no semicolon.
Line 1: "illumines"... hmm. Not a word. Did you mean "illuminates"?
Line 3: "to far" should be "too far"; you need the adverb "too", not the preposition "to."
Line 3: comma splice. It doens't make sense to have a comma after "step."
In this poem you constantly do a very irritating thing with word order. "Paths diverging countless," you say. "Light ahead gulped. Favored path soon regretted."
This is very ambiguous grammar. For example, the adjective "countless" could describe "paths"-in which case the line should be written "countless paths diverging"-or it could describe "diverging," in which case "countless" should be the adverb "countlessly" instead.
You could have written "countless paths diverging" OR "paths diverging countlessly", but what you have written does not make sense-even in poetry, where grammatical liberties run free.
Anyway, sorry. You have an interesting idea in this poem, but the grammar errors made it very difficult to read.
| Rachel Maurine chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
I really like this! I'm guessing that the message means to live life the way you choose? Well, either way, I like your diction. BTW thanks for the review!