Pretty hilarious when you get past the depressing emo type personality. You did your character justice with what you described him in the summary.

Though Cole sounded a bit too ... i don't know... angsty? He was way to afraid of germs, it was like he almost had a phobia, and the first paragraph about fruit orgy was a bit too much, but a good introduction.

He also seemed overly concerned about AIDS and what not.

A good chapter overall, conveys personality of both Cole and Ashton very clearly.

Oh God.

Okay. I love this story. So much. There were parts that made me laugh my ass off and parts that were just SO FUCKING PERFECTLY AWESOME that I couldn't even think of a better way things could have turned out. Seriously. Normally my mind sidetracks during stories because it's like "DUDE. WHY THE FUCK? DID... UGH. NO."

And then I have to exit out and it's just REALLY REALLY rare that this doesn't happen with a story. And your story was totally awesome!

... before the ending chapters.

The last few chapters seemed to be... pure crack. It's more my personal preference that I don't like crack a whole lot, but I just... didn't like the way things played out.

You went through a lot of details and crack-like scenes that weren't very... interesting. And your humor TOTALLY seemed to change. It's like you, as a writer, took a hiatus and came back as a TOTALLY different person. I could like... feel that in your writing, if that makes sense.

Don't get me wrong, there were still some good scenes, but it feels like you wrote some scenes just to put in some humor in there. Like, there was no point to them? If that makes sense. It makes a reader lose interest very quickly, especially if the beginning and ending writing styles are very inconsistent.

Your readers were hooked on your original writing style! They liked the drama, the lust, the sex, the jealousy, rage, etc. Your story was hilarious, but it was a TAME humor. Like... you didn't go overboard with it. I feel like that's what you did in the end. You kinda... lost track of the plot, and everything just got very crazy and scattered and all over the place.

I'm still favoriting this story because it's the best I've read in SUCH a long while. You ARE an amazing writer, I feel like you just kinda got lost partway through the story, or lost interest, or changed in some way, or something. It just wasn't the same story anymore. I felt the need to point that out so you could be more aware of it next time. Like... if I didn't think you had a serious talent for writing, then I wouldn't even bother, so I guess take this critique as a compliment, lol. I don't usually review unless a story blows my mind, so yeah.

*favorites*

.

Wow, you need to get over yourself of you actually think it was immpossible for more than one person to dislike this fic. It wasn't even a fic, but more of a writer trying to see how "witty" and "unique" they could be.

Interesting chapters. I'm pretty sure Cole flipped off Shelley when he saw her in Chapter 1 though, he didn't just ignore her. Rachel is annoying, so very annoying. Personally if I were Cole I'd stab the bitch. Enjoyable chapters.

So I dunno I just realized the zombie hobo was Trent's ex-boyfriend.

I love Quentin! and you spelled My name Right! I'm just so Happy!

Best smut scence everrrrrr Love earheart and Cole when having sex.

Ashton is my favorite character of all time,He is awesome and sweet even if he is a little bit whore but he is in love,Cole is such a bitch hate him now.

Oaho. That was sick, in the way where its disgustingly crazy and you have to be enrolled in mental institutions to write it but also in the way where it was disgustingly great and one of the beat things I've ever read. So thabks . Read my story. Or not. Fuck everythink

I am laughing so inappropriately hard right now that it's ridiculous, which happens a lot, to be fair, but I just HAD to say something this time. The "it was an option" about Trent raping Cole just killed me. (a hot option... I mean what?)
Okay, continuing to read now. :3

ASHTON IS A SOCIOPATH
This is just...I don't want Cole with anyone now. Unless Vincent is still an option and remains sane.
Also, Dom is a four year old.

You probably won't be checking your reviews anytime soon, but I'll say this anyways in case you come back in later years... So I enjoyed your story, and I hope you'll follow up on your sequel someday. (I mean it's 2013, so I hope you'll continue your work.) In the mean time, where are the pictures of your characters on your bio? Are they still posted anywhere? And also, I thought that you had wrote other stories? Or did you take them off - like the one shot? Anyways thanks for the read. I enjoyed it.

Im going to be completely honest here. The general plot of this story was decent. The dialogue is this story is not good. Your writing skills aren't horrible but defiantly need improvement. Why does every male character seem to be gay? Its hard to read the story. Very random and i find it way to difficult to even finish this. Maybe this story would be alright for teens 14 and 15 but overall I can't even take this serious. The characters as well are extremely annoying. I found my self cringing every second. I don't know if you were aiming for this to be a comedy or a story to not take serious but it seems so.

That random sexual outburst ash did to cole was awesome! Lol it made me laugh.