Reviews for The Cole Turns To Ash
Kazu'sTsundere21 chapter 9 . 7/1/2012
OMG! Dominic. Is. A. Troll. Literally! He has the colorful, gravity-defying hair, and he's short! 8D perfect fit, i betcha did that on purpose!
silhouettes chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
Oh my gosh, bahaha, I absolutely adore the way this story is written c:
SmileyfaceGurl chapter 5 . 6/18/2012
I may seem weird for saying this but I don't like Ashton. He's a bit of an ass, and to cocky for his own good. But love that cole!
SmileyfaceGurl chapter 1 . 6/18/2012
I love it! When I read the title I fell in love! It's so cute! I just love cole, He acts like me in a strange way...Alot like me in fact. Anywho's-I love this bloody story so keep up the good work!
Sarah chapter 1 . 6/13/2012
ugh I couldn't get past the first paragraph. There is no way in hell you could get AIDS from a fruit... jesus the first thing they teach you about AIDS is that it can only be contracted by sharing blood or sex. You also didn't capitalize the "s" in AIDS for some reason which made it read like you were writing the plural of aid.

The title of the story gave me a good laugh though.
Hi chapter 8 . 5/3/2012
My god I dreaking love Cole and vincent they're just like my friends without the cross dressing
Siobhan - Imani chapter 31 . 3/27/2012
I wanted to wait until I read all of the story before I reviewed and I have to say YOU ARE AN AMAZING STORYTELLER! I could not stop reading this story!{I actually fell asleep beside my laptop MANY times!} There were a lot of characters in the story and I not only remembered who they all were I cared about each and every one of them. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for this wonderfully humorous, sexy, intriguing escape. I am looking forward to the sequel and I am also excited about reading some of your other work. Again Thank You Soooo Much for a story that went FAR beyond simple literary entertainment. To say you have the gift would be a gross understatement. You are appreciated :)

~ Siobhan
nobody chapter 31 . 3/26/2012
you were true about this chapter. it sucked butt. good thing there is a chapter cause it really needs one or you should have actually given this story a good ending but i see your thinking cap is not on because you have not posted anything here yet!
toinfinity chapter 8 . 1/11/2012
'can i have a burrito?'

'shut the fuck up.'

i nearly pissed my pants laughing. i havent stopped to review because i just want to readreadread but i had to write this.

this story is amazing, i love it so much x-]
A.J. Saunders chapter 31 . 12/25/2011
I don't want to sound rude, but this... not the best I've ever read to put it nicely. I couldn't finish reading this, I only got up to chapter 8.

First of all, the characters had such little development at the start before they started f***ing the brains out of each other. I'm sorry to say this, but I could tell that it was written by someone younger than 18. The lack of character development at the start just meant that I would never relate to the characters. The characters were just running around having sex with random people. This meant that I didn't really care about the characters, so I didn't really get into the story.

Then the plot... Don't get me wrong, I liked the premise. The execution was terrible, though. It was jumping all over the place; events weren't explained. It would rush through something then give too much detail on something else.

I do understand that this was written when you were 14, though. I hope I didn't sound too harsh. I just wanted you to know what you could focus on improving. I'd like to read your writing now that you're older.. As you become older and (hopefully) more mature, your writing skill will increase even if you don't practice. You have more experiences to reflect on and incorporate into your story.
eirithebear from ff chapter 25 . 12/24/2011
Fucking love this chapter. Especially the hp/pokemon parts, and the sexy sex, and the black girl animorph. That line made me laugh so hard i cracked a rib.
Blah chapter 26 . 12/10/2011
This story was good but rather lame at the same time .. You get what I mean? It's so randomly confusing :S everybody seems to be gay ? :S and also how can Cole find the headmaster a pedo and then actually have sex with him ? Thens there's all this with Trent and Ashton ? It's like ugh ? And technically shouldn't Cole be like dead or seriously Ill ? Considering he doesn't eat for like 6weeks at a time ? I don't mean to critise because I really enjoy say the first 10 chapters ! I do congratulate you because this story is not predictable and cliche soo yea that's good :) and also no more was ever mentioned of Shelley ?
C.H.E chapter 31 . 10/20/2011
This Story Is Pure Genius.

The sarcastic humor was FANTASTIC, the characters actually felt real (even though they weren't always in very realistic situations...XD)and the relationships you've developed around the story tied everyone up very nicely (none of the characters seem like they just popped out of nowhere).

SOooo...Wonderful job!(although, i would have loved to know more about Corey ...and about how Cole dealt with Liam in the end)

Hope you continue writing...sooon :"
Boo Hoo chapter 32 . 10/13/2011
/breaths in/

/breaths out/

OK, I'm going to give this to you straight.

This was... the sort of crap that's sort of, maybe good. Maybe. I just want to point out some things:

Not every-fucking-one is gay. People don't just go fucking in school randomly. Or in public. Also people don't just spontaneously fuck. I only read up to chapter eleven so don't know if you made it any better after that but I doubt it.

Also Ashton is an arsehole.

Also... WTF? EVERY FUCKING GUY IN THE FUCKING THING WAS FUCKING GAY! And's what with Cole's sudden jump from Imma-loner-and-happy-about-it to Mr Social!

let me just put this in again: EVERY. FUCKING. GUY. WAS. FUCKING. GAY.

/calms down/

Sorry about that it's just that this could have been soooo good if it hadn't been SO FUCKING BAD!

So let's add in the good parts:

*Cole was... a gooooo...d charecter.


sorry, where was I?

*ummm... that's it.

Two more things I want you to really think over:

Ashton was an arsehole. He deserves to be raped, have his dick chopped off and then be raped again. What a fucking arsehole.

Also no one uses any protection and there are no consequences! (Unless in the later chapter's everyone gets diagnosed with AIDS and they start dying everywhere. If that's the case than ignore everything else and awesome)

Did I mention Ashton's arsehole status?

And the everyone-is-gay thing, don't forget that.

And the fact that the two girls that were in the story was a slut and a nutjob.

and the pedo's

and the public sex.

and the fact that everyone was humping like bunnies and nobody didn't want to do it.

and the spontaneous sex. (I'm talking about with cole and ashton. I mean WTF?)

And Ashton's an arsehole, a jerk and an all around vile human being.

So yeah. I think you could save it if you...just delete this story, keep the general idea, remove all the gay guy's add in some normal girls, take away a fuckload of the sex and make some serious changes to ashton's character.

Again, I say that if you killed everyone off in some horrible, sexual-desease related fashion than ignore everything (except the ashton and the everyone-being-gay part) and give yourself a pat on the back.

Good day,

Boo Hoo
FaithSins chapter 32 . 10/11/2011
Cant wait for the sequel :)
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