Reviews for Written by a friend' and other pet peeves I have
Written chapter 1 . 3/7/2008
I really did laugh at that bit about langston hughes :)

you know how to make this more like an essay, right? make it longer. essays can have emotions, but you do need to make it a real essay, instead of a short, angry rant.

but you have a good point.
LyricsArePoetry chapter 1 . 3/2/2008
I totally agree!
ziva-in-the-rain chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
Yup this sounds like a rant to me. -.-
anon chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
Well, you could try lengthening your paragraphs and elaborate on your points. IMO, Fictionpress isn't the best place for critiques...
Sara34343434 chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
I don't like 'written by a friend' pieces either, but I can understand sometimes teens actually will listen to their parents and not sign up for services.

However, quoting rules isn't very good when you're breaking one yourself.
Daniel Clarke chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
To make this more of an essay make it longer.

Flesh out the arguments within it. You have some points but they're a sentence each. If that.

List the problems you have with it in an orderly fashion.

Take some of the emotion out of it. Because right now its an angry rant.
KeytoExistence chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
What do you mean "please critique my essay." This is not an essay. This is a rant. This is just something that you sat down and wrote in less than a minute. You may cover some things up by saying, "it's against the rules" but when you get to the point all this piece of writing says is "I'm annoyed by these for no good reason."

Of course, you have the right to post what you want, but if you don't want to get flamed, then post something worthwhile and insightful on Fictionpress.
Mass Hysteria chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
You know what are my pet peeves? People who call 169 words an essay. People who don't look at the other side of an argument. People who don't have evidence to support their own argument. People who get mad over the tiniest of issues. People who say something is wrong because it's "against the rules" or against the law (cougcough how did women get to vote?). People who come up with convoluted arguments. People who cannot tolerate other opinions.

What the hell is wrong with you? Get a life and stop wasting space in the essay section.
MokikaStyle chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
Please critique my essay so that is becomes more like an essay and not me yelling on and on about my pet peeves.