|Reviews for Down the Vine|
| Saint Rebel chapter 1 . 12/31/2006
i'm glad you added in that oe scene that makes me think it took place on the fourth of july cause aprklers are mentioned. the new begininng gives the story more structure.
| blacksheep18 chapter 1 . 12/28/2006
Personally, I see this story as a tiny seed. A tiny seed that needs a lot of water and sunlight.
The introduction is boring irritating and awkward to read. Maybe you could just use their first name and not their whole name to remove the awkwardness. You could actually add more to the first paragraph such as: How did they get to that position? What gave her the reason to kiss him? You could also explain where they are.
The second paragraph of the story is missing a lot of needed information to make everything you wrote flawless. You skipped a bit too much. Explain how she looks like now. and other important stuff.
And in general... you whole story are missing a lot of important details to make it to a very nice fully blossomed flower.
Take your time, dont rush... imagine and give your story a chance to bloom into a nice flower. Dont let it die as a seed. You got talent _ hurry and rewrite it. Make it to your masterpiece. Show to everyone you deserve a great great review without begging for it. Prove to them that you're totally great!
wow this is my longest review this month LOL anyway i hope i helped _ and i hope you wont shoot me dead. i wasnt insulting but stating the obvious.