|Reviews for Lifeblood|
| IrishPirateQueen chapter 4 . 3/13/2007
Another interesting chapter. Was nice to find out what his research is about... very interesting that is. Hmm? I wonder what Eslandra will do when she finds out.
Yours Truly and is changing name
| IrishPirateQueen chapter 3 . 3/13/2007
*is interested in what this 'Round' Meeting is* Good Chapter. Im guessing it was a filler with a bit more detail about our dear Lord Ambroise. I really like this work _
| IrishPirateQueen chapter 2 . 3/13/2007
*le gasp* GAH! I LOVE THIS! Im OBSESSING over this! Now I know this is already writen and I myself dont like getting informed about something in a chp thats been writen for a very long time... but in later chapters try not to use her name quite so much. Other than that LOVE THIS! I absolutely wish it was a movie as well as a book I could own! I think you should get this published when its done!
| Kadekksys chapter 6 . 3/13/2007
huh, so you didn't dangle Mark in front of us just for him to never be mentioned again, right? I hope not... ooh, totally could see a showdown between Mark, Ambroise and Elasandra way down the road... hehe. Yeah. Great chapter. P.S. totally get the whole musical thing... mine is next weekend so I know I won't be writing for a while. you have my sympathies!
| IrishPirateQueen chapter 1 . 3/12/2007
One word for this chapter AMAZING! Though I would go to say one thing you could cut off doing... saying Elsandra's name more than once every two sentences. It seems very repetative. Thats the only thing. Now for the good stuff. I love how you switch your POV's. How you express your characters without having to give to much detail as well. Also the way you write is like watching movie. I myself am starting a original bit of work. Its called the Prologue to 'The Road to Caledonia' Its only two chps so far but I (as the author) says its worth reading... even if they are a tad short. Also I absolutley ADORE long chps.
| insane in the brain chapter 6 . 3/12/2007
I take forever to introduce relationships between characters too but even if it IS fiction, to put it on a real time frame, no one falls in love without 72 hours of meeting nor do they hate each other for a few months with massive time gaps and suddenly, an incident brings the 'love' out of them...
I like your sense of style. Write what you want and do what you do best, if other people don't like it, tough. Writing's for fun, not for show.
At least that's my motto.
I HAVE CRAMPS. Grr. I wish a vampire would just drain my uterus right now. That would be lovely...
| Kirane chapter 6 . 3/12/2007
Yay, confrontation! :) You have made a definite improvement in your writing. There were a couple grammatical errors, though, relating to quotations. I'm not sure if they're typos or what, since it only pops up a few times, but I thought I'd mention it. Basically, if you have a quote and then a quotation tag, or whatever they're called, and the quote isn't an exclamation or question, you need a comma, not a period, and don't capitalize the next word. For example,
"There's nothing in the world that would help both vampires and humans." She informed Nicolas.
"There's nothing in the world that would help both vampires and humans," she informed Nicolas.
You probably already know this, but things like this slipped through a couple of times.
Other than that, my only comment is that I still don't understand Elsandra's insistence on staying in her room except to sneak food. It just seems too passive for her.
You've done a good job making me understand Nicolas. I know his motivation and his limits on how far he's willing to go to get what he wants. Your success here really helps the story.
I look forward to the next update!
| inksketcher chapter 6 . 3/12/2007
I LUV your story. its really good! the only thing find odd is that the setting is like in the old times with horse and carriage and frilly dresses BUT they have guns. i find it odd. i guess its a top secret weapon only for slayers huh. GREAT story! UpDaTe as soon as possible!
| angeleyez61888 chapter 6 . 3/12/2007
this has been a very intersting story so far i can't wait to read more of it. Elsandra and Nicolas are both stubborn and it's rather amusing well hope to read moe of this story soon :)
| Ellea Dawn chapter 6 . 3/12/2007
Tsk, tsk, Nicolas is a little confident of his ability to sway Elsandra isn't he? Ah, well, another excellent chapter, midear. I just adore vampire stories, especially this one.
| Ellea Dawn chapter 5 . 2/21/2007
I've read a fair amount of vampire stories but I must say that this one is very original. A scientist vampire...who would have thought...
| Kirane chapter 5 . 2/20/2007
You've got a fun story going here. The plot is entertaining, and I'm looking forward to the next installment.
Your writing could use a little work, though. Here are a few suggestions, if you're interested:
-Use names less. When there's just one character being referred to in a section, using his/her name every sentence or two is redundant.
-Try to relax your writing style a little. It can be unnaturally stiff at parts. For instance, "Of course, seeing that Elsandra had locked herself in her room, she had to do it from a distance. But Elsandra didn’t particularly mind. It wasn’t as if she was going to kneel down in the grass to examine the exact color and structure of each shoot." could be condensed to "Of course, she couldn't examine it closely, but she had no desire to do so anyway." Better yet, just cut it out, since it's sort of obvious.
-Which leads to the next point: unimportant details. There are some details that have meaning, such as a brief description of a character's room (as you did in the last chapter), but others, such as the exact route someone's walking, don't really add anything and just make the story drag.
-I noticed that although there are a lot of old-fashioned elements to this story, and it's obviously not supposed to be set in the present, the characters make liberal use of modern cliches. (For example, "quite the looker.")
-And finally, sometimes I wonder what in the world the characters were thinking. For example, Elsandra refusing food and not exploring the manor. While the former is stupid but can be explained by a particularly stubborn personality, the latter I just don't understand. She knows she's not safe in her room, so why isn't she trying to do something useful in her time? Also, things like Camilia not thinking of looking for something to use against Ambrose by herself.
Anyway, I know it doesn't sound like it, but I really am enjoying this. :P Those are just a bunch of suggestions if you're actively looking to improve your writing. You'll get tons better just by practicing more, which you're obviously doing. Please update soon!
| degrees-of-rambling chapter 5 . 2/20/2007
| degrees-of-rambling chapter 4 . 2/20/2007
YAY! NEW CHAPPIE! nice job! next chapter's up too YAY! i sound retarted.
| insane in the brain chapter 5 . 2/20/2007
Normally, I don't read vampire romances but a friend of mine recommended this story and I'm really impressed ]
I love the stuble, laid back style of writing you have, instead of the hurried and rushed explosive beginnings most vampire romances follow, and I hope your review count goes up ]