|Reviews for Roanoke|
| lilfirefly chapter 19 . 1/23/2011
Just charged through this, several hours of engrossed reading. I think the conversation length at the end is especially workable. If Remington's physical abruptness is viewed in light of the stress. He has tensions every which-way, about bravery, maintaining his masks, and looking at death.
| lilfirefly chapter 7 . 1/23/2011
I think the timing on the trip is close to perfect. It's nature to gloss over the parts familiar or without mental concentration, and flying the greater distance than normal should be unnerving, but not mentally occupying. I think that is well justified.
P.S. I;m keeping track of your music, and I like it.
| Arabian-Pigg chapter 30 . 1/3/2011
this probably would be a very weird review, but anyway, i am having an imagination crisis. and thanks to you, and your story, i think my imagination has been revived.
this story if wonderfully written! i am no expert on literature, but compared to other fantasy fics, this is probably one of the best!
i love the fact that this story has an immense intensity! the emotions flowing through the crisis of the story is so strong, it's addictive. and the action! it's so heavy, and it gives off voice like no other fic! and the moods even though it's strong, it's constant. it doesn't go up and down, heavy then light. it's a serious fic, and you know it is! and it's a damn good serious fic!
and then i love the way you characterized your characters. you almost stereotyped your characters (like snowgood guy, remibrooding hot dude, calevil brother), but you develop them, so it's not. i like that you let Riley and Remington grow as a character, and how they step-by-step begin to trust each other. especially remington! even though you portrayed him as a bit Byronic, i like the fact you show at first he was a bit reluctant about riley, but then he began to trust her and eventually love her. and cal! he sounded as one of the evilest character in the story, but you do not use the word 'evil' at all! some fics out there are so obvious! they described a character through and through without needing us to imagine, or develop the idea of the character himself! cal is wonderful! you told us his character not by describing, but by his actions and his essence. like he always smile, but you make it sounds as if he got something behind his smile.
and then another thing i love about this story is that you brought the word 'princess' into a whole new level! riley learns about military, and then piloting, even though she's a princess! and i think that's really spicy an hot. most fics here define princesses as a pretty young lady with no responsibility, too spoiled, and her job is just to marry some handsome prince. but you... you make a princess so much more hard-core. haha. like, she has all this responsibility, and it's not something to be taken lightly. and then with all the political/military play. holy cow. you make it sounds so... interesting! i never really like politics, but this fic makes me think twice. your kingdom is so complex, unlike other fics that take the monarchy system so lightly. it's very realistic! like, you make all this issues among the Seabrights and there's rebellion form inside the empire itself. To think of this kind of plot... you're awesome.
another think i like is how your story has history and magics! and not cheap magics too! and you incorporate these ideas to move along with the plot! magic or aether here is not much of a big deal, but it is never only the side story. when remington was thrown off the cliff, i never thought you would use his abilities to safe him. hmm... it's hard to put it into words. haha. but it's like, his abilities to control air was not something so big in the story that you notice so much, but it comes on handy. and then another amazing thing about this story is that, you don't described tell directly the history and the use of aethers. you don't make the character explain! aethers role in the plot speaks for itself! you don't need definition, you just bring it to action! i used to write a fantasy novel, and first thing i do is to describe the magics. telling my audience, how does the magic works or the government system works and so on and on. and when i read this story, it comes to me that the way you just told story without defining terms is very... ingenious. :D
and back to the plot, it's so complex! and it's not predictable! except that riley is a princess, but this doesn't show that much either, cause she can pilot and all. i love the facts that there are mysterious elements such as the ambushes and the spy in the roanoke. although, when you move the plot, some of the actions are a bit sudden. for example, when we found out that doc is the spy, it came so sudden. he was not that suspicious, yet in one chapter, doc did a big move that told us that he was the spy. and another example is remington and riley's relationship. before madison said, "he's in love with you." i have no idea that he is. before that sentence, remington and riley's relationship to me is only trust. yes, you did imply that there might be romance between the two, they were always bumping into each other, they fight a long side, remington helped riley in several ways, but the love itself doesn't brew yet... as if it was not fully bloomed yet. but after madison said the line, it was as if r and r's relationship was on another whole new level. they kissed, it's more mushy, and riley's start using blake rather than remington.
and then, i love the fact you used technologies! it's so rare to have that on FP! and the technologies work together with the aethers too! it's amazing! it was as if i was reading Final Fantasy instead of playing it on play-station.
so anyway, i enjoyed this story very very very very much. i stayed up late, reading this fic in the dark, finding myself to unable to stop pressing the [ } button for more. i do hope that you finish this wonderful piece of art, for it deserves an ending. i know it's a little bit too late, since the last time you updated is 2 years ago... but i really really really hope you gave me a closure for this beautiful story, cause right now my curiosity is craving for more and more. i personally think this story would make a great action/love movie with some adjustment. :D
thank you for writing this.
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| Kathadoodle chapter 30 . 5/8/2010
This story is insanely good! Please update soon!
| bubublacz chapter 30 . 3/31/2010
If you didn't explain what happened I never would have understood it.
| bubublacz chapter 16 . 3/31/2010
Aw... I like Madison. The pace through the forest was rushed, but I guess it was just fine 'coz i think that if you had added something to it, it would sound boring.
| bubublacz chapter 6 . 3/31/2010
Everything makes sense from this point, but I still don't understand how the aether things work which could just be ignored for the time being. Hm... I think Riley is the daughter of someone prominent? It's just a guess. I do hope I'm wrong and that the answer is that she's some big shot.
| bubublacz chapter 3 . 3/31/2010
I really like the sound of your story but I'm so confused about everything. Like the date, the venue, and the aether thing.
| xXPepper-chanXx chapter 2 . 3/1/2010
Just finished reading Chp2. Your plot so far is bay far very unique. I'm looking forward to reading it if I could.
I know that you've already mentioned this in the first chapter of your story, but I think it would be better if you use names when one of your character is speaking, using he/she is fine, but sometimes it'll get to the point where readers don't know who is the 'he' that is speaking. I've only got the the 2nd chap, so maybe you've already fixed this (If you have, I apologize) Thank you for writing!
Please Continue to write.
| ThereAfter chapter 30 . 2/22/2010
I just spent the past few days doing my best to catch up to this story and I'm incredibly glad I did. I could heap praise on you for hours because I found this story so very different and exciting, but there are also a few things I think could do with some tweaking. There is a ton I want to say, which almost guarantees that I'll forget at least one thing. If that's the case, I'll probably just tell you about it in my review for the next chapter.
First things first: That praise I mentioned? Yeah, well this story is incredibly unique, at least compared to what I've read up to now on this site. I love the world you created and the characters are very interesting. I think the whole idea of aether is pretty ingenious. And I definitely like the military aspect you gave everything. It adds a unique element I haven't seen anywhere else.
Now the critique part... While I adored the beginning and found it almost impossible to stop reading, everything since the High Court was introduced has begun to feel rather tedious and, dare I say it, boring. There was (and I'm not sure if this is the right word for it, but I can't think of anything else) realism to the first half of the story, but now everything revolves around the copperbloods, their powers and their devious ways. Maybe the copperbloods importance wouldn't aggravate me so much if there had been mention of them early on. I know you were trying to keep a certain level of suspense, but the story suddenly went from a military-centered adventure to a fantasy-style story of backstabbing and plotting. Personally, I preferred the adventure. But, since the copperbloods are clearly an important part of the story, I get why they're getting so much focus. I guess the best way to fix the problem would have been to just gradually add the copperbloods to the story, instead of their sudden appearance after the Cordon mission and subsequent complete takeover of the plot.
I also think some of the relationships evolved a little too quickly. Riley and Remington went from barely polite conversation to being in love in the blink of an eye. I wish there had been more bonding between the two before they suddenly began a relationship.
So I guess what I’m saying is that you have a tendency to introduce new ideas too abruptly, without any lead in to them. And honestly I think that once you’ve worked on how to introduce new aspects of the story, your writing will be fantastic.
Overall, I love the story so far and can’t wait to see how it concludes.
| Regin chapter 30 . 2/8/2010
I Like, I Lust, I Love!Please Update Soon!
| pbgurl chapter 30 . 12/21/2009
AH! I noticed its been almost a year since you updated. You have to update this. I'm literally on the edge of my seat with the cliffhanger you gave us. Please please please please update. This story is excellent, one of the most well written I read on here ever! And the secrets and twists are great!
please update :(
| AranaBanana chapter 30 . 12/1/2009
Well, I don't have much to say, though I guess I could go on and on praising your fic. I really enjoyed reading it, the plot is really interesting, and the characters too. I noticed it hasn't been updated since january though, have you given up on it? I sure hope not, because I really wish to read about the rest of the story. But whatever happens, I just wanted to thank you for writing this, and letting me read, I had a very good time doing so.
Keep the good work up!