|Reviews for winter clothing|
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 1/2/2007
Wow, nice use of metaphor in this. The dandruff one is still blowing me away. I really like how you used these metaphors that aren't necessarily pleasant to signify that you aren't happy. It's very nice. The corset line is quite striking. Nice work. Keep writing! :)
| emeraude-irlandais chapter 1 . 1/2/2007
I love the overall sense of this- how very disappointed and desolate this sounds. Favorite lines: "To some place where the air is staler, and warmer and stays/Firmly on the ground, like a corset tied tight." You've developed some excellent imagery ("Where the alps rise like blocks of cheese"), and the final line is a wonderful finality. :) I like this- but the title is somewhat misleading, no? bella
| Michael Aliester Smith chapter 1 . 1/2/2007
I love the imagery here. You've expressed well a rather dull displeasure. I would just advise looking at the line placement and connectivity. The first few lines, at first it sounds like you're blowing the silk shawl through your nose.