|Reviews for The Departed|
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/14/2007
I love the last stanza a lot.. the first line in the second to last stanza was great, but the length seemed to mess with the rhythm... great piece
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 1/8/2007
When you mention Scorsese and I read the poem again, it feels very Italian and mafia/mob-like. I don't know if that was your intention, but that's the way I see it. I do quite like the second stanza. It's interesting. Nicely written. Keep writing! :)
| thestonedfox chapter 1 . 1/7/2007
This made me smile because it reminded me of two of some of my most favorite things: "White Oleander" (the book) and "The Departed." (the movie)
But other than that, there were other reasons to smile, too. I love the imagery of the lines, "She only wore one earring /Who cared for the other? / Only one more thing she’d lost." And I loved the rhythm in the line "Then it became boys playing boys playing men playing pricks playing guns."
I just think the last line in italics could be rewritten a little better. The afterthought feel of it was nice, but the wording made it sound so disjointed.
Other than that, it was pretty much brilliant!
| Cirien Phoenix chapter 1 . 1/5/2007
I just turned on my author alerts yesterday and I just realized how long it's been since I left a review. I came back after so long and nothing about your style has changed. You still write the most amazing poetry. I'm adding this to my fave stories list. This is just gorgeous, but as I've probably said before, I've come to expect that of your work. This is just awesome! I feel ashamed for not having reviewed in so long, I've missed so many of your other great works too, I'll bet. I think you could release a book of poetry and people would buy it. I know I definitely would!